


Love in a Coffee Cup

by lethalexa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coffee Shops, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Smut, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9211529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethalexa/pseuds/lethalexa
Summary: ‘I finished the book you lent me.’ Lexa said without turning. ‘It was actually pretty good.’‘Thought you didn’t like romance,’ the blonde replied, playfulness seeping into her voice so that Lexa could sense her smile.‘What can I say,’ she said, turning to face her. ‘I guess you just bring it out of me.’orcoffee shop au





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ur_the_puppy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ur_the_puppy/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yooo  
> this is my second fic but like the first one should hardly count bc i ditched it like 6 chapters in oops  
> but this is entirely fluff, bc i am trash.   
> I hope you enjoy it, if there are any annoying typos tell me and i can fix them !

 

Lexa rounded the corner off the busy city street into a quiet side alley, her pace matching the beat to the alternative rock song she was listening to. She had her electric guitar in its case in one hand, the other swinging at her side. Thinking about the music she was going to suggest to play with her to-be-made band, her feet found their way along the path without thinking about it. When Lexa spotted her little coffee shop sitting on the corner, she felt a rush of pride.

The Dropship was her favourite place in the world. There was Octavia, arranging her baked pastries in the window, and Raven, setting up the tables outside. Anya was wiping down the tables on the inside, getting ready for the first customers of the morning. Lexa remembered when she, Octavia, Raven and Anya were just four best friends, planning their little coffee shop together in Raven’s garage, dreaming up their own place they could pour their hearts and souls into. Lexa chuckled, thinking that the Lexa back then would never have actually believed that their fantasy coffee shop would become a reality, and that some of her best memories with her friends were yet to come in that coffee shop.

Raven looked up at the approaching footsteps and grinned when she saw the familiar figure making her way towards her.

‘Hey Lexa, fancy seeing you here,’ She said with mock surprise.

‘I know, what are the odds?’ Lexa grinned back. She continued her way through the front door, bell dinging as she swung the painted dark blue door open. She breathed in usual scent of coffee beans and whatever Octavia was baking as she entered, weaving her way through the assortment of mix and matched tables and chairs to the counter. She took her guitar to the back of the shop, where they kept all their ingredients and other supplies, leaving it next to Raven’s drum kit in the band room.

The building used to be a two-storey house, before Lexa bought it and turned it into The Dropship. It had taken six months to furnish it all, and Raven had knocked down some the walls on the first floor to make it a wide, open space, with some rooms at the back for baking and storage. The first few months were a little rocky, not many customers and they were still learning how to run a business, but now, 2 years later, they were doing well and happy with what they had created. The bell chimed behind her and she recognised Anya’s familiar gait over the floorboards.

‘Hey Anya,’ she said cheerfully, turning to smile at her over her shoulder.

‘Hey Lexa, how’s it going?’ Before she could reply, Octavia spoke from the window where she was finishing up the display.    

‘Anya, want to interview the job applicant with me today? She’s coming around 5,’ Octavia said, drying a cup with a tea towel. Anya shrugged.

‘Sure. Is she the only one who applied?’

‘Yep. She better be good, because however much I love working this shop, I think we should all get some more time off, don’t you think?’

Lexa and Anya both nodded in agreement. Looking over the shop, she wondered how the new employee would fit in. They already had such a good dynamic, just Octavia, Anya, Raven and herself, would someone new mess that up?

Everyone had their own little area in the coffee shop that they had designed themselves. Lexa’s was upstairs, and had lots of books lining the walls and squishy armchairs gathered around little coffee tables. Soft light was emitted from lamps, which sat on the tables and hung off the walls. Lexa had wanted to make it as cosy and warm as possible, a quiet space for people to sit and relax. Raven’s area was the majority of the front of the coffee shop, with grey roughly painted walls, wooden tables and stools and lights hanging from the roof. It had a very industrial look, which contrasted to Lexa’s upstairs room.

Raven also had a little workshop out the back, where she made little geometric shapes and animals with bits of wire, old nails and other little machine parts she found. These animals and shapes were littered all over the coffee shop, little price tags attached to each one. Occasionally they sold one, but Raven mainly made them for fun. Octavia had her little area near the back, which had chairs and magazines, and looked like everything had come from Ikea.

Anya looked after their little garden out the back, which had lots of wicker furniture, lots of different pot plants and fairy lights strung up. Customers almost never ventured around the back to the garden, so usually it was empty. To the few regulars who found it, it was a closely guarded secret, as it was quiet and calm back there.

-

The day passed the same way it always did, but Lexa didn’t mind; she liked routine. She served customers, recommended books, made hot chocolate and coffee and tea, left at around 12 to go to a lecture at her university, and came back around 4pm, taking over from Raven. Lexa was in the process of making a skim latte for a customer when the familiar bell at the door chimed and a blonde girl who looked around her age walked in. She was wearing a leather jacket, black jeans and boots, and the tips of her hair were dyed pink. Lexa unknowingly paused what she was doing, watching as the blonde looked over the coffee shop, taking everything in.

‘Shit!’ Lexa yelped, having burned her hand by accidently touching the part of the coffee machine that gets hot. The blonde looked over at her sudden outburst and Lexa flushed, running her hand under the tap. Focusing on her hand, she pretended not to watch the girl as she walked over to the counter, a bit of a swing in her step. Lexa was just about to plaster on her customer service smile and recite ‘Welcome to The Dropship, what can I get you?’ when Octavia bustled out from her workshop out the back, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

‘Hi! You must be Clarke, right? I’m Octavia.’ she said warmly. Clarke’s attention switched to her, and Lexa felt a sudden pang of disappointment. Slightly confused, she shook her head and dried her hands to continue making the skim latte.

‘Hey! Nice place you got here.’ Her voice was clear and confident, slightly deeper than Lexa expected it to be.

‘Glad you like it! Lexa, is there anyone upstairs? I was thinking of doing the interview up there,’ Octavia inquired.

‘Yeah, there’s, um, no one there.’ Lexa stumbled over her words and mentally cursed herself. Why was she being so stupid? It was just a pretty girl.

A _really_ pretty girl. Not to mention hot, too.

‘Great! We’ll head up then. Do you know where Anya is?’

‘She just went to take coffee to customers in the garden, should I, uh, tell her to go up when she gets back?’ she stammered.

‘Sounds good, thanks Lexa.’ Octavia gave her a quizzical look over her shoulder as she led the blonde, Clarke, up the stairs. She was half way across the room when the blonde suddenly turned and looked at Lexa.

‘I hope your hand is alright.’

Lexa just nodded, caught by surprise. The blonde smiled, a beautiful, radiant smile, and headed upstairs to were Octavia was waiting.

Lexa loosed a breath, one she didn’t know she had been holding, and finished making the skim latte, taking it to the customer’s table. She cursed herself, just nodding would’ve looked silly to Clarke, why couldn’t she just say ‘Yeah, it’ll be fine’? That would’ve been better than just nodding.

When Anya appeared, carrying a plate and a dirty cup, Lexa quickly told her what Octavia had said and she too disappeared up the stairs.

 

It was almost an hour later when the three finally returned back down the stairs. Clarke was laughing at something Octavia had said, and Anya was following behind, grinning. Lexa tried not to get distracted with watching Clarke laugh, but a few seconds had passed before she realised she had no idea what Jasper, a regular customer, in front of her had ordered.

‘Sorry, what was that again?’

‘Away with the birds are we?’ He chuckled. ‘I’ll have the usual cappuccino and blueberry muffin. Monty’ll take a hot chocolate. Thanks Lexa.’ He paid and then disappeared around the back, heading to the garden where Monty was probably already sitting. The two of them came in a few times every week, and they always sat in the garden. Lexa looked up again, hoping to see Clarke again, but all she saw was a flash of pink hair as she disappeared from view, having already gone out the door.

‘How was the interview?’ Lexa asked Octavia and Anya, who were beginning to pack up the shop for their 6:30 closing time.

‘Great. She seems like an awesome person, we both really like her.’ Anya said.

‘She’s starting tomorrow.’ Octavia added. Lexa almost dropped Jasper’s blueberry muffin.

‘So soon?’ She felt an unexpected rush of nerves. She didn’t want to embarrass herself again in front of her.

‘Yeah, I think she’ll fit in really well. Okay, I know you brought your guitar in for today, but I was wondering if we could do band on Wednesday after work instead? A family thing popped up, and I’d feel bad if I missed the occasion.’ Anya said guiltily.

‘That’s fine with me,’ Lexa assured her. ‘I know Raven is always free on Wednesdays so that’ll be fine with her too, what about you O?’

‘All good. Actually, that works better for me. Bellamy wanted to try a new restaurant near us tonight.’ Octavia replied. Working like a well-oiled machine, they quickly packed up the tables and chairs, bringing them inside. Within a few minutes, the entire shop was ready for closing.

‘Jasper and Monty are still out the back, I’ll get them when I leave,’ Lexa said, waving goodbye to Octavia and Anya, who were heading out the door.

Humming quietly to herself, she made her way past Raven’s workshop, past some other storage rooms and Octavia’s kitchen she used for baking, making her way to the garden at the back which was lit up by fairy lights strung from tree branches. However, she didn’t have to go very far when Jasper and Monty appeared in the doorway, realising it was past their closing time and they had to leave.

‘Thanks Lexa, see you later!’ Monty said, and Jasper gave her a high five as they passed each other in the hallway. Chuckling, Lexa turned off the fairy lights and locked the back door, then closed and locked the front door, ready to go home.

-

The next morning, Lexa pretended she wasn’t in a good mood because Clarke was starting her shift that day, instead trying to convince herself it was just because it was beautiful weather. However she found herself checking the clock every couple of minutes, waiting for the start of the blonde’s shift to start. She wanted to ask Octavia when her shift began, but she didn’t want to be too obvious that she was interested in her. Instead she just looked up every time the bell sounded, hoping to see the bright pink tips of her hair. She was upstairs recommending a book to Monroe, another regular, when she heard that bell once again.

Somehow, she just had a feeling it was Clarke. She didn’t know how she knew, but she was certain of it. She quickly finished up showing Monroe books, and cleared a vacant table before making her way back downstairs, balancing the dirty plates and cups on her tray perfectly. As she neared the bottom of the stairs, she saw the pink tipped hair she was looking forward to seeing so much behind the counter, talking to Octavia. Lexa then discovered that walking down stairs with a tray of dirty dishes while not looking where you were going (instead at a very pretty girl) was a terrible idea when she tripped, landing flat on her ass, her tray flying out of her hands. It landed with a clatter at the foot of the stairs, the mug smashing everywhere and the plate skidding along the floor. Octavia promptly burst out laughing. Every eye in the shop turned from Lexa to Octavia. Slowly, conversation bubbled up again, having seen Lexa was alright. Blushing furiously, she picked herself up from the stairs, and starting gathering the bigger bits of smashed mug and put them on the tray. She refused to look in Clarke’s direction the whole time as she cleaned up.

-

The whole day, Lexa had managed to avoid Clarke as much as possible. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be friends with her, but she was afraid of what the blonde might think of her after her fall down the stairs, the nod and the burnt hand. Instead, she had taken sneak peeks at her from a distance, captivated by her. Lexa didn’t understand why she was being so sappy, but she couldn’t help herself. She had managed to avoid Clarke enough that she hadn’t even spoken to her yet, but little did Lexa know that that was about to change.

Now, Lexa was upstairs sitting in one of her comfy arm chairs reading during her half hour break, a cup of warm hot chocolate beside her.

‘What book are you reading?’ Lexa froze, recognizing her voice instantly.

‘Um, just a university textbook. Nothing that would, uh, interest you.’ Lexa stumbled over her words, only daring to look up for a fleeting moment before focusing back on her book.

‘ _Understanding Capital Punishment Laws_. Sounds intense. Are you studying law?’

‘Yeah,’ Lexa nodded, still refusing to meet the blonde’s gaze.

‘I’ve got a _much_ more interesting book for you to read, if you want,’ Clarke grinned, raising one eyebrow, as if daring her to accept her book recommendation.

‘Sure,’ Lexa said, slightly flustered.

‘It’s in my bag downstairs, let me run and get it. You’re probably familiar with the title, _Fifty Shades of Grey_?’ Lexa, who had been taking a sip of her hot chocolate, choked. ‘I’m joking! The look on your face, that was priceless. Don’t worry, its not _50 shades_. I’ll go get the actual book, I’ll be right back!’ She disappeared down the stairs, hair flying. Lexa was left completely baffled sitting in her chair, staring at the spot where the blonde had just been standing.

Clarke returned a minute later, carrying a small blue book in her hands.

‘Here.’ She said, giving her the book, entitled _Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe_. ‘Ignore the pretentious title; the book itself is a great read. One of those books which change the way you look at life, you know?’

‘Is it a romance?’ Lexa asked. Romance wasn’t really her genre, and she hadn’t read a romance book in years.

‘Well, kind of. Not really.’ Clarke grinned, no shame shown at her vague answer to Lexa’s question.

‘Romance isn’t really my thing, sorry,’ Lexa said, going to hand the book back. But Clarke stepped back, out of reach with her hands up.

‘Give it a go, and if you don’t like it then I’ll take it back. It only took me an hour or two to read, so it probably won’t take you long,’ Clarke answered. Lexa sighed, but accepted the book.

‘Don’t get your hopes up.’ Clarke simply winked and went back downstairs.

-

Lexa breathed in the fresh air, sitting on her balcony of her apartment that she shared with Anya. She had just finished a paper for university, and she finally had some free time. She debated whether to have a bath, watch a movie, or do some guitar practise. Making up her mind, she got up to run the water for a nice hot bath with a bath bomb she received as a gift, lighting a few candles as she went. As she padded across her little apartment she spotted her bag, which was still sitting on the bench, with a corner of a little book peeking out. The book Clarke had given her. With a shrug, she grabbed it as she strode past, thinking that she would give it a shot.

 

It was long after the water had gotten cold and the sky turned dark when she emerged from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a towel and a finished book in her hands.

-

The next morning, Lexa decided to get to The Dropship early to have a few minutes practise on her electric guitar, which was still in one of the back rooms from Monday. Her breath was misty in the cold air, and she was wrapped warmly in one of her long coats, her hair twisted, as always, in her intricate braids. She entered the shop, greeted by the familiar scent of coffee beans. As she made her way to the back rooms, where she had her guitar and amp set up next to Raven’s drum kit, she took off her coat and left it sitting on the counter. Entering the room, she paused for a second in the doorway.

There was a bare brick wall on one side, which looked great with Raven’s drum kit. There was a microphone and stand in the centre of the room, wires coiled in the corner unused. Raven, Octavia and Anya had always wanted to form a band. Raven could play the drums, Octavia played bass and Anya could sing, but she didn’t want to sing alone, which Lexa thought was fair enough. Every now and then they played music together, but Anya never was able to enjoy singing.

 

Lexa’s black Fender electric guitar was in pristine condition, one of her most prized possessions. It had two red stripes going diagonally across the body, giving it a unique look which made her buy it immediately when she saw it.

Adjusting her amp, she started playing a few chords, just to warm up her fingers. The bold notes filled the empty room, echoing off the walls. When she was finished warming up and tuning, she pulled the guitar strap over her head and stood in the middle of the room, as if she was playing for an audience, facing away from the door. As she played, she began to loose herself playing a song from one of her favourite bands, Pvris. Her fingers played each note with perfect precision, the familiar melodies creating the music she loved so dearly. She could hear the lyrics in her mind as she played, fitting in with what she was plucking perfectly.

Looking back on it, Lexa wasn’t sure when a voice started singing behind her. All she knew was that one minute she was alone in the room and the next someone was singing with her playing, a clear voice knowing the song and every lyric. When Lexa realised this, she spun around, faltering. Clarke was standing just behind her, green eyes meeting blue. She grinned and kept singing, gesturing for Lexa to keep playing. Slightly stunned she obliged, continuing the song in time with Clarke’s voice. Her voice was strong and concise, hitting each note clearly. She had the perfect voice for the song.

Lexa was gazing at her as the played, dazed. Clarke only winked and strolled over to the microphone stand as she sang, beginning to pretend she had an audience in front of her. She took the microphone off the stand and began dancing around as she sang, clearly having lots of fun. She made her way towards Lexa, pretending to sing to her. Clarke looked so adorable yet hot at the same time that Lexa laughed, and started the join in. She imitated those rock guitarists, leaning back as she strummed. She tossed her hair around, Clarke yelling encouragement in the gaps in the lyrics.

All too soon, the song was over, the last note ringing out as Clarke and Lexa struck their final pose, back to back and looking out into their imaginary crowd. They were both laughing uncontrollably as they turned to face each other.

‘You sing?’ Lexa asked in amazement. Whatever she had thought of Clarke, she hadn’t pictured her having the strong voice she had.

‘Nope, I’ve never sung like that before.’ Clarke replied. Lexa’s jaw dropped.

‘What? You’ve never had lessons or _anything_? That’s incredible.’

‘What can I say, you just bring it out of me.’ Lexa rolled her eyes, but inside she was in complete awe of the girl standing in front of her.

‘Want to play another?’ she asked.

‘Why, of course.’ They decided on a song, finding out that they have very similar music taste. They started up again, forgetting everything else except each other, the music and their imaginary audience.

-

‘Guys, it’s time for work!’ It was an hour later and Raven had arrived, yelling over the music. Clarke and Lexa finished their last song, both panting but laughing. It was the most fun either of them had had in a long time. Grinning at each other, Lexa packed away her guitar and Clarke disappeared out the door, but not before she cast a wink over her shoulder at Lexa, who blushed. Lexa kept smiling to herself while packing away her guitar, and that day at work she was more cheerful than usual. The whole day, Lexa and Clarke cast little smiles at each other like they were sharing a secret only they knew about.

-

That evening, Lexa, Clarke, Octavia, Anya and Raven were gathered in the music room, ready to have another band practise. Previously, they had just been playing random songs, not really putting much effort into it sounding good. They just liked to play together. However, today Lexa had brought along Clarke, and was excited to show the rest of them how well Clarke could sing. She thought that since Clarke could sing really well, maybe they could actually form the band they’ve been thinking of for years. They started off discussing a song, one that they all knew. They did their various google searches for the sheet music and lyrics, and then they played.

The first time they did it through, they had the song blasting over the speakers so they knew what it was supposed to sound like. As soon as Clarke sung the first note, Raven went completely out of time on the drums with shock, Octavia grinned and Lexa felt pride swell up in her chest for the blonde. She kept singing, grinning at the rest of them. When the song was over, Raven, Octavia and Anya all showered her in compliments and questions about her singing. They all reacted as Lexa had when they found out she never really sung before.

‘Natural talent!’ Raven yelled. Clarke looked a little flustered for the first time, not used to getting so much attention and praise.

‘I really think this band thing could work with you here Clarke,’ Anya exclaimed.

‘Why don’t we run through the song again, with only us?’ Lexa suggested, keen to continue playing.

‘Let’s do it!’

-

The five girls stayed in the music room long after the sky had gone dark and the city quietened down. They had played until Lexa’s fingers ached, until Raven only played the kick drum because her arms were tired, until Clarke couldn’t sing the high notes. They were all exhausted when they returned back to their respective homes, but it was a good, satisfied kind of exhausted.

-

The next day, Lexa’s shift started at 2pm because of a university lecture that morning. She tried her hardest to concentrate and take notes, but she found it impossible to keep her mind off Clarke. She had only known her two days and yet, here she was, spending her morning thinking about her. Lexa cursed herself for being such a hopeless romantic, and focused on the lecture.

That afternoon when she arrived at The Dropship, she immediately looked around for the blonde, trying to catch just one of her beautiful smiles. Feeling slightly disappointed, she realised she wasn’t there as she scanned the shop. Trying not to let it get to her, she put her bag in a back room, and began to serve customers as usual.

 

It was quiet in the little coffee shop, only a few customers sitting at tables and reading newspapers. Lexa was about half an hour into her shift and was drying a red mug when she heard the bell at the door tinkle and that familiar laugh that made her feel warm inside.

Clarke had arrived.

Still facing away from the door, Lexa heard her footsteps on the dull wooden floorboards, evenly making their way to the counter. She knew Clarke had come around to where she was, a great sense of ease falling over her.

‘I finished your book.’ She said without turning. ‘It was actually pretty good.’

‘Thought you didn’t like romance,’ the blonde replied, playfulness seeping into her voice so that Lexa could sense her smile.

‘What can I say,’ the brunette said, turning to face her. ‘I guess you just bring it out of me.’

-

‘We need a name,’ Octavia announced at the start of their next band session. ‘Any ideas?’ They all shook their heads. ‘How about we all just give it some thought, maybe come up with a few ideas each?’

‘Sounds good,’ Raven agreed.

‘I wrote an original the other day, do you guys want to learn it?’ Lexa piped up from where she was sitting on the ground, playing chords softly on her acoustic guitar.

‘Hell yes!’ Anya squealed, excited. ‘I didn’t know you wrote music!’

‘Neither! That’s so awesome Lexa,’ Clarke said, a hint of admiration creeping into her voice. Lexa blushed, pulling some sheets of paper from her bag, which was sitting next to her, and started handing them to each of the girls.

‘It’s not the best, but I thought we could try it out considering we now have Clarke singing,’ she said, looking at her. ‘It goes like this.’

Lexa started strumming some chords, and Clarke couldn’t help but notice how pretty Lexa was, with her hair tumbling down her shoulders and moving slightly to the beat of the music she was creating. Lexa took them through the song, with Clarke singing and Raven trying out different drum beats, experimenting with what sounded best. Octavia had come up with the bass notes, and Anya was coming up with harmonies with Clarke as they went. By the end of their 2 hour long session of experimenting, they all were feeling satisfied with the song that was in the works.      

-

Six months later, their band had written numerous songs and finally come up with a name. After trialling many ideas that often had innuendos and puns (Raven was responsible for most of these), one name had stuck; The Coalition.

The Coalition practised at least one night a week, two if they could fit it in. They were starting to think about actually recording it in a studio and playing their music live in bars or at events.

Even after six months, Octavia, Anya, Raven and Lexa knew very little about Clarke. All they knew about her was that her name was Clarke Griffin, she loved music, she loved reading, she moved here six months ago, just before she got the job at The Dropship, and she has a golden retriever called Chaz, who sometimes stays all day in the coffee shop with them, lying around and sniffing at food.

Lexa had been trying to work out more about Clarke, but she was an expert at making you feel like you knew a lot about her, but then you realise she never actually says much about herself. Lexa had an advantage over the others, she could learn about Clarke through their books.

The brunette and the blonde had been lending each other books back and forth for months now. Lexa often gave her sci fi or fantasy books, like  _Ender’s Game_  or  _Lord of the Rings_  (when Clarke had seen the title she had rolled her eyes and called her a nerd, but she had finished the series a few days later), but Lexa couldn’t place Clarke’s genre or books. Sometimes she would give her something like  _Anne of Green Gables_  (which, she learnt, was a classic you have to have read) and then the next week she would give her  _Who’s Afraid_ , a much more modern book about werewolves. It was unpredictable, but Lexa found herself enjoying every book Clarke lent to her.

 

It was a nice afternoon when Lexa finally found out something else about the mysterious blonde. She was sitting in a patch of sunlight in their band room during her break. There was a piece of paper and a pencil sitting on the ground next to her as she gently strummed her acoustic guitar, creating lyrics and melody as she went. She was writing a song, as she often did when she felt particularly creative.

It was different to any song she had written before, usually her songs were just ranting but with rhyme and rhythm (she had written about 5 on the American presidential election alone this week), but this one was different. It was soft and tender, and the words she wrote were nothing like the angry or loathing ones she usually came up with. These words were welcoming and gentle, filled with untamed hope. She didn’t really know what the song was about, but she kept going anyway. Lexa wasn’t the best singer, but she knew Clarke would make it sound amazing. Clarke.  _Clarke_. Usually she was open about her lyrics, and didn’t mind sharing them with the rest of the girls.

But this song was different. The thought of Clarke singing these words sent shivers up her spine, but in the best way. She wanted to share this song, but she realised that she wanted to share this song with  _only_  Clarke.

A knock on the door made her jump, her hand quickly covering the paper she was writing the lyrics on. She heard the door open, and turned to head to see who it was, and she swore she felt tingling in her arms when she spotted that familiar blonde hair.

‘Can I come in?’ she said softly, as if she didn’t want to disturb her in the midst of writing a song.

‘Sure,’ she said hastily, patting the ground next to her. Her blonde curls bobbed slightly as she padded over, barefoot on the floorboards, and sat down, almost nervously, next to her.

‘You writing a song?’ She asked curiously.

‘Yeah, still just getting some lyrics down but it’s going alright.’ Lexa contemplated showing her now, but she decided against it, opting for waiting until it was finished.

‘My dad used to play guitar for me; whenever I got sick he would sit on the side of my bed and play whatever I asked him to.’ Clarke smiled at the memory. ‘You sound just like him when you play.’

‘Does he still play now?’ Lexa asked.

‘No, he died a few years ago.’ Lexa didn’t know what to say.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be, it’s okay. I had a horrible few years after it happened, but I’m okay.’ Lexa gave her a small smile before Clarke continued. ‘I was just wondering if you’d like to come back to my place after we close the shop today? We can go out and have dinner too if you want, I’ll pay.’ Lexa, caught by surprise by her invitation, stumbled over her words.

‘Oh, wow, yeah, sure I’d, uh, love to!’ Blue eyes met green, searching them.

‘You don’t have to come, it’s all good if you just want to stay home.’

‘No! I want to come; it was really nice of you to ask. Could I go home first and get cleaned up, then come to your place?’ Lexa wanted to get a change of clothes and maybe have a quick shower before she went; she didn’t want to stink up Clarke’s house.

‘Sure, I’ll text you my address later. I’ve gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you later!’ Clarke grinned at her, a slightly triumphant look in her eye. Lexa grinned back and waved, waiting till she heard the door click shut behind her to begin playing again.

As she played, Lexa realised she had learnt something else about Clarke. She had learnt that she may be closed off most of the time, but when she shares a little more of herself, it’s one of the most beautiful things she’s ever seen.

-

Lexa took a deep breath before knocking on Clarke’s door. Her little apartment sat above a florist, so the fresh smell of the flowers wandered up the stairs to Clarke’s door. Before she left, Clarke had given her a key to the florist’s store and told her how to find her flat by going behind the counter and up the stairs to the left.

It had taken Lexa an embarrassing amount of time to find what she was going to wear. She had tried on numerous outfits, trying to find something that wasn’t too casual but wasn’t too formal either. She eventually had settled for her black ripped jeans, a black slightly strappy tank top and her usual leather jacket, something she often wore.

Now, standing in front of Clarke’s door, she wished she wore something that she didn’t always wear. Clarke might think she didn’t put any effort in, or that she didn’t care or something. It was too late now though, so she knocked on Clarke’s painted white door. It opened almost immediately, as if she had been waiting for her.

‘Hey!’ Clarke said, standing back from the door to let her in. She was wearing a simple white top and some denim jeans, similar to what Lexa was wearing. Chaz bounded up, licking her hand and sniffing her jeans. Clarke just smiled, inviting Lexa inside. She stepped into the apartment, taking it all in. It was cluttered, but not messy, instead giving it a homely feel. It was a studio apartment, so Lexa could see her kitchen, some couches, a tv, a little room for a bathroom and her bed and clothes all in the one room. It was cosy, with the pot plants she had placed on almost every windowsill and the faint scent of flowers lingering. Lexa could also smell bolognaise cooking on the stove, one of her favourite foods. There was another smell she didn’t recognise immediately, but then realised was paint.

Then she noticed the art. It was everywhere. Canvases leaned against walls, paintbrushes littered every bench, and plastic covered one corner of the room where a canvas was sitting on an easel and paints were covering the floor. On the canvas was just a grey backdrop, drying to be painted over. Looking closely at the paintings around the room, she could see pictures of landscapes, flowers, splashes of colour, abstract shapes and much more. Just like Clarke’s book taste, she didn’t seem to have a specific style she painted in. Lexa didn’t know where to look; there was so much to see. Chaz had run back into the apartment, jumping on one of the couches and settling down, looking at Lexa as if asking for more pats.   

‘Sorry for the mess,’ Clarke said, looking at the pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed.

‘It’s fine, it’s hardly messy,’ Lexa replied distractedly as she studied one of the closer paintings. It showed a grand oak tree in a field, sunlight spilling through the leaves.

‘So, um, I know I said I would take you out to a restaurant for dinner but I thought it might be nice to eat here,’ Clarke said, almost sheepishly.

‘That sounds awesome. Did you paint these?’ She asked, gesturing at all the paintings around the room.

‘Um, yeah. It’s just a hobby,’ Clarke shrugged.

‘They’re amazing! How come you haven’t shown any of us these before?’ Lexa asked, kneeling down next to a painting of a little Border Collie puppy sitting on some concrete steps, looking at it closely.

‘I’ve, uh, never actually shown them to anyone.’ Usually Clarke was her usual mix of confident (bordering on cocky) yet kind, but now Clarke seemed shy, almost closed off.

‘Can I look at them?’ Lexa asked, not wanting to push Clarke into showing her the paintings.

‘If you want.’

Lexa moved around the room, looking at each canvas as she went while Clarke stood in the kitchen at the stove. She had never seen the blonde this nervous before.

Lexa looked at her paintings, marvelling at the precision of each brush stroke. Some that stood out to her were the one of a girl holding brightly coloured balloons in the middle of a busy street, an abstract one of red and maroon shapes, one of a bookshelf with flames surrounding it, a dragon’s eye, and one of silhouettes of trees against the night sky. However her breath wasn’t truly taken away by those as much as it was by the most recently painted one, still wet in some spots. It showed Lexa’s upstairs room of The Dropship, books lining the walls and the warm glow of the lamps. It was so perfectly painted that it felt like Lexa was standing in the doorway, about to enter.                 

‘You painted The Dropship,’ Lexa said with wonder creeping into her voice. Clarke walked to where she was, glancing at the painting.

‘Yeah,’ Clarke said, anxiousness clear in her tone, as if Lexa’s opinion on it was the only thing that mattered.

‘It’s… brilliant,’ she said, not taking her eyes of it.

‘Thank you.’ She was certain Clarke was blushing, but didn’t look up in case it made her more embarrassed.

‘Really, it’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like your paintings. You ever considered selling them at all? Making some money off it?’

‘I’m not sure, I’ve thought about it but I don’t have a shop or anything.’

‘You could sell them at The Dropship if you want, like Raven sells her little shapes. The others wouldn’t mind,’ Lexa offered, casting her a sidelong glance.

‘Thanks, I’ll think about it.’ An awkward silence fell upon them.

‘Shit,’ Clarke exclaimed. ‘Shit, shit, shit.’

‘What is it?’ Lexa asked quickly, not sure what had happened. It was only a split second later when she realised another smell had joined the sweet flowers in the air. Burnt food. Clarke rushed over to the stove, swearing when she realised the bolognaise she had been cooking was blackened on the bottom.

‘Fuck. That was going to be our dinner.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m sure we can still go out and get something,’ Lexa reassured her.

‘I knew this was a bad idea, I can’t cook to save my life, what was I thinking to try and cook us dinner?’ Clarke shook her head.

‘Quite frankly, it’s adorable that you tried.’ Lexa realised what she had said and covered her mouth, but the words were already out in the open.

‘Adorable huh?’ Clarke winked, her attitude changing entirely.

‘Oh shut up.’ But Clarke grinned smugly anyway.

‘Should we go find a restaurant to eat at?’ the blonde asked.

‘I actually like the idea of staying here,’ Lexa said, looking at her sideways.

‘Let’s do that then! I’ve got basically nothing edible, so we can order takeout! What do you like? Chinese? Pizza?’ Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at Clarke’s enthusiasm for takeout.

‘I don’t mind, whatever you want. Nothing spicy though.’

‘Chinese it is. I may love pizza, but Chinese is definitely the best. Is that good with you?’

‘Sounds great.’ Lexa was filled with a sense of warmth, like this was where she was meant to be.

‘I’ll order some now.’ Clarke skipped off, leaving Lexa to continue walking around and look at every painting with awe, a faint smile on her face.

 

An hour later, Lexa and Clarke were curled up in blankets on her couch watching a movie. Lexa wasn’t paying much attention, but Clarke had said it was one of her favourites so she tried to watch. It was an early 90’s movie, called A League of Our Own, about a girls’ baseball league that made Lexa feel very gay indeed. However her attention kept wandering; all she could think about was how close Clarke was to her, and how she wanted to lay her head on her shoulder. She didn’t want to seem too forward though, so she stayed curled up on her side of the couch.

Not five minutes later, she felt Clarke move beside her, readjusting herself. Before she knew what was happening, the blonde had come and laid her head on Lexa’s shoulder, causing her to tense. She relaxed quickly though, their breathing in sync.

Once the movie had finished, Lexa almost moved to get up before she realised Clarke had fallen asleep, breathing deeply on her shoulder. Not wanting to wake her, she pondered what to do. She could stay here, and let Clarke sleep, or get up and leave but possibly wake the sleeping blonde. Smiling to herself a little, she pulled her phone out of her back pocket, careful not to move too much. After texting Anya where she was, she settled back down and moved Clarke’s blanket to cover her. That night she slept more soundly than she had in a long while.

-

Lexa sat up groggily, opening her eyes to see sunlight shining through into a cute little apartment. She remembered where she was, and was immediately filled with that warmth again. Looking around, she realised Clarke was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment panged through her uncontrollably. She spotted a note on the coffee table in front of her; she picked it up as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

_Hey sleepyhead, I had to leave because I had first shift this morning at the shop, and I couldn’t bear to wake you. If you want breakfast, there’s cereal in the pantry and milk in the fridge, or muesli, I think there might be some fruit in the kitchen somewhere as well. Help yourself!_

_Clarke_

_Ps. you look beautiful when you sleep._

Lexa rolled her eyes at the last part, but couldn’t help the blush that bloomed in her cheeks. She folded the note and put it in her back pocket as she spotted another sheet of paper peeking out from some pencils on the table. She pulled it out, and realised what it was immediately. It was a portrait of her, sleeping on her couch, drawn in what looked like charcoal. The blush in her cheeks deepened, but she felt oddly honoured that she had been drawn by the talented blonde; that she had spent time on it, on her.

When she left the apartment 20 minutes later, she felt a pang of sadness as she looked behind her at the cosy flat. She breathed in the scent of the flowers one last time before closing the door and heading back down the stairs.

-

In the upcoming weeks, Lexa felt more and more that she had to show Clarke something personal as well, after seeing her art. She thought about it when she arrived at work, as she was going to sleep, even when she was meant to be studying. No matter how hard she thought, she really had nothing to offer. Lexa didn’t think she had any particular talents, except maybe music, but she had already shared that with her and so many other people. She wanted it to be something between her and Clarke. Just Clarke.

-

The smell of flowers followed Lexa as she walked up the stairs to Clarke’s apartment. She found that the smell was rather comforting now, as she associated it with Clarke and feeling safe.

When Lexa knocked, the door opened almost immediately and she was welcomed with a warm smile from Clarke. ‘Hey! Come in.’

She walked inside, greeted, as always, by Chaz jumping up enthusiastically and licking her hand.

‘Hey Chaz,’ Lexa said. ‘How are you today?’ she paused, pretending to listen to Chaz’s reply. ‘How rude. Clarke, why haven’t you taken Chaz on his walk today?’

‘Oi, how did you know that?’ Clarke said indignantly. Instead of replying, Lexa just winked and said, ‘Chaz demands his walk and we must grant his wishes. Lets go!’ She grabbed his red lead from were it was hanging on the wall and tried to attach it to his collar, even though this was a difficult feat as the golden retriever was running around trying to catch his tail. When she finally got it on, she began walking back down the stairs, knowing that the blonde would follow.

Outside in the cool mid afternoon air, Lexa paused, not knowing were to find a park to take Chaz.

‘So, Lexa, where are you planning to go?’ Clarke said with mock innocence, knowing full well that the brunette had no clue where a park was. In response, Lexa glared at her and promptly began walking to the left, choosing randomly.

Clarke began to follow the brunette and the golden retriever, who was padding along side her happily, tail wagging.

‘Don’t walk so fast, I miss you,’ she protested. At that, the blonde could tell that Lexa had just rolled her eyes, but she stopped to let her catch up anyway.

‘Thanks,’ she said gratefully when she had caught up. ‘I would’ve ran to catch up but I’m very against physical activity.’ Lexa chucked, and Clarke thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

Without warning, Chaz pulled on the lead, yanking Lexa’s arm painfully. He had seen another dog on the other side of the street, and even though Lexa held her ground, the dog was strong, pulling her closer and closer to the side of the road.

‘Chaz, stop it, you silly dog, we’re going to the park now so you can play with all the other dogs there,’ Clarke said in a tired voice. Lexa guessed this happened a lot. Luckily the other dog was now past them, and the golden retriever stopped straining against Lexa.

When they reached the park, Clarke let her dog off the lead, watching him immediately sprint off to the other dogs on the oval.

‘Are you a cat or a dog person?’ Clarke asked suddenly.

‘Dog, but don’t get me wrong, I love cats.’ Lexa replied.

‘Same here. When I was younger my Dad was allergic to dogs so we never got one even though I begged for years.’ Lexa almost would’ve missed it hiding behind her light-hearted tone if she didn’t know Clarke so well. As Clarke had mentioned her Dad, her voice had trembled ever so slightly. Lexa debated whether to ask further about her father but she didn’t want to upset the blonde, knowing she was already a little shaken up just by mentioning his name. Thinking back on all the time they had spent together, she realised the blonde never spoke of her father or her past life. Sometimes her mother came up in passing, but she hadn’t noticed that her father never came up until now.

‘Chaz is a great dog though, it would be worth the wait for him,’ Lexa said instead, electing to not pry further.

‘Yeah, he is. Look at him now, rolling around in the grass. What an idiot.’ The blonde put on an annoyed tone but Lexa could sense the affection under her words.

‘Race you to the playground?’ Lexa asked playfully.

‘Lexaaaa, you know I’m against physical activity,’ Clarke complained.

‘Come on, just once,’ Lexa challenged.

‘Fine. GO!’ Clarke took off without warning and Lexa had to sprint after her to catch up. Whatever Clarke said about being against physical activity, she could run like hell if she wanted to. Lexa only managed to just pull ahead of her in the last few metres of their race, and as she stopped to regain her breath Clarke reached her, panting.

‘And this,’ Clarke said, ‘is why I hate running. You should feel special that I actually ran.’

‘I do indeed,’ Lexa replied, turning away to hide her blush.

Chaz came bounding up to them and Clarke knelt down, scratching behind his ears.

‘My dad had wanted a dog too you know, but Mum didn’t let us get one anyway. She’s a doctor and she seemed to think it was better for my dad to not have one. We did consider buying one without telling her though.’ Lexa suddenly pictured a much smaller Clarke going to a dog breeder and getting excited about all the dogs there, wanting to buy them all.

‘Did you ever think about getting a cat?’ Lexa asked, still avoiding the topic of her father.

‘We actually already had one, her name was Bindi. She was really old though, barely moved unless it was to get food.’

‘Sounds like someone else I know.’

‘Oh shut up.’ They walked over and sat on the swing set, both leaning against the chains closest to one another.

‘Do you visit your dad now?’ The question slipped out before she realised she had asked it. ‘Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.’ She knew the blonde might not want to talk about him, judging from her reactions to simply mentioning his name before.

‘No, he died early last year.’

‘Oh Clarke, I’m so sorry,’ Lexa said softly.

‘It’s okay. It was hard to get through at first, really hard. But I’m recovering,’ Clarke reassured her. ‘Part of the reason I moved here, actually.’ Lexa stilled, not sure whether she was going to keep talking. She never talked about her life before moving here.

‘I needed a fresh start,’ was all she said.

‘I hope moving here was a good fresh start for you, then.’

‘It has been. I’ve had some of the best nights of my life with you and the others.’ Lexa smiled at that. She couldn’t help but notice how the blonde’s eyes light up beautifully as she thought about the past few months. That gave Lexa an indescribable joy, seeing her happy.

Clarke began to swing, leaning back and forwards to try and urge the swing to go higher and higher. Together, they reached the highest their swings would go, their hair flying behind them. Lexa looked over at the blonde again, marvelling at how the light caught her hair and gave it little flashes of light as she flew through the air. She looked almost angelic. There simply wasn’t another word for it. If Lexa couldn’t see the swing’s chains the girl was clutching, she would’ve been sure she was flying.

-

They arrived back in Clarke’s apartment, Chaz now tired yet happy he had had his walk.

‘That was far too much exercise for one day,’ Clarke said, exhausted. After going on the swings they had climbed on the playground (like the 9 year olds they secretly were), climbed a nearby tree and chased Chaz around the playground.

Lexa hung up her coat and looked at Clarke in a way that she hoped was subtle. The blonde may have just been complaining about the amount of exercise but she was humming to herself quietly as she took off her shoes. Upon arrival at her apartment, Chaz had promptly made his way to a mat in the corner of the room and curled up, falling asleep almost instantly.

‘I’m starving, do you have any food?’ Lexa asked.

‘I do, but you know I’m terrible at cooking. Remember the first time you came here and I tried to cook you bolognaise and it burnt?’ Lexa chuckled, remembering it all too well.

‘I could teach you how to make bolognaise properly if you want,’ Lexa suggested.

‘Hey, the bolognaise would’ve been delicious if only it didn’t burn,’ Clarke protested.

‘How about we make something else then?’ the brunette suggested. In all honesty, she thought Clarke cooking was adorable.

‘We’ll see what I’ve got in the pantry.’

It turns out that Clarke didn’t have much in the pantry. Lexa was about to say maybe they should cook something another time when she suddenly spotted a bag of chocolate chips.

‘Let’s make cookies!’ she exclaimed, excitement evident in her voice.

 

They started off by finding a recipe online, and it was convenient that Clarke had everything they needed already.

‘Okay, now add the sugar,’ Lexa instructed. ‘No! Not that one, that’s icing sugar,’ Lexa said quickly when she saw Clarke reach for the wrong one.

‘Right. I knew that.’

‘Sure, sure.’

Clarke then tried to add the flour as Lexa instructed, but she almost dropped it and got the powder all over her hands.

‘Dammit,’ she said, quickly putting down the cup of flour to clean her hands. Lexa almost didn’t catch the glint in her eye, but as soon as she saw it she knew that was coming.

‘Clarke, no, don’t, Clarke!’ She had clapped her hands right in front of the brunette’s face, making the flour fly all over her. ‘Dammit Clarke.’

‘Oops,’ she said innocently. But Lexa didn’t just leave it at that, no, she must get her revenge. As Clarke turned around to wash her hands, the brunette grabbed some of the flour from the bowl and threw it so it landed in the blonde’s hair.

‘I probably should’ve seen that coming,’ Clarke said, pretending to slump her shoulders. Lexa tried to jump back but she was not quick enough when Clarke’s hands came up, clapping her hands over Lexa’s hair so it had flour all through the braids.

‘Now we’re matching.’ Before either of them knew what was happening, Lexa was chasing Clarke around her apartment, hands out and trying to reach her. But Clarke knew her apartment much better than Lexa did, even though she had spent so much time there. The brunette kept bumping into the couch or coffee table, but she was very careful around Clarke’s beautiful paintings. Unable to catch her, Lexa stopped and leaned over, panting but laughing. Clarke reached the kitchen again and stuck out her tongue.

‘What happened to being against physical activity?’ Lexa panted between her laughs. She couldn’t help but notice how cute Clarke was, with flour all over her hands and face, laughing.

‘I can make exceptions.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the first chapter, feel free to leave comments and kudos (they literally make my day)


	2. chapter 2

Autumn turned into winter, Lexa and Clarke exchanged their books, and Clarke became close to everyone who worked at The Dropship. Anya, Raven, Octavia, Clarke and Lexa often stayed behind after hours to have a drink together, gathering in the garden and laughing until their stomachs ached. Their band practised almost every weekend and some week nights, getting better and having more fun every time.

Clarke and Lexa grew closer and closer, spending more and more time together outside the coffee shop. Sometimes they went back to Lexa’s apartment with Anya, once Clarke had dragged her to the shopping centre to help her find something to wear to a formal event she was going to. Lexa pretended to be impatient with shopping, but secretly she enjoyed seeing the blonde grabbing piles of clothes excitedly, disappearing into changing rooms and almost emerging again to see what she thought. Over time, Lexa was beginning to accept the undeniable. She has a little crush on Clarke. Actually no, that’s an understatement. Over the 10 months she had now known Clarke, she had fell entirely in love with her.

Octavia, Raven and Anya were starting to pick up on this, and they often looked at her pointedly whenever she was talking to the blonde. Just that morning, Lexa had smiled at her when she came in for her shift, and Raven had nudged her and wiggled her eyebrows. Last week, Clarke had complimented her on the hot chocolate she made for her, and Octavia and Anya had grinned at her like they knew something she didn’t.

-

Lexa hated Christmas. When she was younger, everyone put so much emphasis on Christmas being a family holiday, which never really worked out with her. Walking up to work early in the morning, she was slightly surprised to see that she wasn’t the first person in the shop on the first of December. Walking up, she could see the lights were on and a set of footprints in the snow leading up to the door. Brushing the snow off her shoes in the doorway, she looked around until she spotted a blonde head just over a table in the corner.

She knew instantly it was Clarke. She also knew that Clarke didn’t know she was there, and decided to make the most of it. Creeping slowly up behind her, the brunette knew exactly which floorboards would creak if she stepped on them, and moved around these spots with light steps. The blonde kept doing whatever she was doing, sitting on the floor in the corner, unaware of the girl sneaking up behind her until it was too late.

‘BOO!’ Lexa yelled, grabbing her shoulders as she jumped out. Clarke screamed, only to realise who it was a split second later and abruptly shut her mouth.

‘ _Damn it_ Lexa! You scared the shit out of me!’ She glared at her.

‘I couldn’t resist,’ she replied sitting down beside the blonde, who rolled her eyes but grinned after a second. ‘What you got here?’

‘It was meant to be a surprise, but you’ll have to be in on it now. I’m going to put up a Christmas tree.’ Clarke said, like a little kid getting excited about putting opening presents. ‘Would you like to help?’ The hope in her crystal clear blue eyes sparkled there, and the brunette felt a tug in her heart.

‘I’d love to.’ Lexa’s voice was soft and quiet. Clarke looked up at her but didn’t question it her sudden quietness. They began by putting together the tree, starting from the bottom.

‘I would’ve bought an actual tree instead of a fake one, but I had no way to get it here, I can’t exactly take a tree on the train,’ Clarke said ruefully.

‘This one is great though!’ Lexa said brightly, not wanting Clarke to feel too disappointed about it.

They continued, and once they had finished assembling the tree they started on decorations. Clarke had bought so many, Lexa didn’t know if they would fit them all on the tree. The brunette couldn’t help but think that she thought Clarke was prettier than any Christmas decoration, brighter than any of the shining baubles.  

‘You know what we need?’ Clarke spoke up suddenly, the familiar mischievous glint in her eye.

‘What?’ Lexa complied.

‘Music!’ Clarke yelled, and ran into the music room out the back, returning with one of their speakers and an aux cord. Plugging in her phone, she looked over at Lexa and grinned as she started to play her Christmas playlist. The music was loud and joyful, as was Clarke’s singing and dancing. It reminded the brunette of the time when Lexa and Clarke had danced around the music room all those months ago, when they had been playing together for the first time. So Lexa joined in with enthusiasm, grabbing Clarke’s hand and twirling her around. Clarke even went down for a dip, and Lexa only just managed to keep her from hitting the ground. Clarke tipped her head back and laughed, and as she brought her head up again her blue eyes met Lexa’s bright green ones, and the world seemed to slow down.

Lexa saw her arms pulling Clarke up again, the blonde curls that seemed to fall perfectly into place, her lips still forming her beautiful smile. The brunette felt the sudden, irresistible urge to capture that smile with her lips, but she waited a second too long, and Clarke was already off dancing around the half decorated tree, completely oblivious to Lexa’s sudden want. Suddenly, Mariah Carey’s _All I Want for Christmas_ was playing, and Clarke was singing to her. Lexa blushed and looked away, but not before Clarke had seen and winked, which caused her to blush even more. But Clarke, being Clarke, moved around into her field of vision, pretending to sing into a microphone like she was on a stage and Lexa was sitting in the audience.

It didn’t take long for the brunette to start joining in, clutching at her heart dramatically.

It was only after that particular song had finished that they remembered what they were meant to be doing, and that they wanted to finish the tree before the others arrived. Still swaying and breaking out into dance occasionally, they finished the decorating the tree together.

‘Do you want to put the angel on top?’ Clarke asked Lexa, holding the final decoration out to her.

‘I can’t reach, but I’m pretty sure I could give you a piggy back and then you could put it up there,’ Lexa suggested.

‘Sounds like a plan,’ Clarke agreed. They both strategically ignored the fact Clarke would easily be able to reach if she just pulled a chair over and stood on it.

Getting up on a chair to get a boost, she climbed onto Lexa’s back, her arms wrapping around her shoulders. The brunette stumbled a little but managed to maintain her balance, making her way to the Christmas tree. Clarke shrieked when she came particularly close to falling over, tightening her arms around Lexa’s shoulders. Lexa was suddenly very aware of how the blonde’s chest was pressed up against her back, and the vanilla smell of her freshly washed hair.

When they reached the tree, Clarke reached up and put the little golden angel on the very top, quickly coming back down to hold onto Lexa for balance.

‘Okay, you can put me down,’ the blonde said.

‘Why the hurry?’ Lexa asked, and gave her a second to process what she said, before taking off in a run around the coffee shop. Clarke squealed and held on for dear life, but she was laughing at the same time.

‘Onwards, noble steed!’ She yelled, putting one fist into the air like she was charging towards an imaginary enemy. Lexa rounded the tables, the blonde on her back swaying precariously as she went. The brunette almost did fall over when there was a flash from the doorway, blinding her.

‘Sorry, had to record the moment,’ Raven said sheepishly, tucking her phone back into her pocket. Lexa glared at her as she let Clarke down, but it didn’t last long. ‘What are you two doing here so early anyway?’

‘I was just putting up a Christmas tree, I thought it would be a nice surprise,’ Clarke answered, pointing to the decorated tree in the corner.

‘Oh my god, it looks so good!’ she exclaimed, walking over to it. ‘When are you going to turn on the lights?’ She asked, spotting that the cable hadn’t been plugged into the power point yet.

‘I was going to when everyone got here,’ Clarke said.

Anya and Octavia arrived ten minutes later, both covered in a light dusting of snow from outside. They all gathered around the tree, ready to light up the Christmas lights Clarke had bought.

‘Do you want to do the honours?’ Octavia said to Clarke. ‘Seeing as you bought it and all.’

‘It would be my pleasure.’

They counted down from ten, getting more and more excited by the second to see the beautiful tree with the twinkling lights. Lexa grinned, remembering how much fun she had had while putting it up.

When the five girls all yelled ‘One!’ Clarke fitted the plug into the power point and the tree lit up, white lights twinkling amongst the branches laden with decorations. They all screamed in delight, acting like little kids instead of the young adults they were. Lexa looked over at a particular blonde, marvelling at how her bright eyes and beautiful laugh.

‘You know what we should do?’ Anya asked over their laughter. ‘Kris Kringle!’

The other girls exclaimed their approval of the idea, and quickly began to organise it.

‘Maybe we should all pull names out of a hat,’ Raven suggested. The others agreed, but before long they realised none of them had a hat with them. Instead, Octavia took off her beanie, suggesting they use that. They went around in a circle, names being pulled out and mischievous glances were exchanged. Lexa pulled out a tiny piece of scrap paper, and Read Anya’s name. She felt a tiny twinge of disappointment that she didn’t get Clarke, but it quickly disappeared when she started running through ideas in her head.

All month they got compliments on their Christmas tree, and there was always a buzz of excitement from the five girls when Kris Kringle presents were slowly added under the tree, especially when the name on the card was read out.

-

It was the day before Christmas and Lexa and Clarke were closing up the shop. Octavia had left early, travelling to stay with her brother Bellamy for Christmas. Anya had already left earlier that week, going to visit her family as well. Lexa knew Raven was probably off getting drunk somewhere on Christmas eve, which is what she had done the last three Christmases. The girls had decided to open the Kris Kringle presents the day after Christmas, when they where all back in town.

‘You doing anything this year?’ Clarke spoke up from where she was wiping a table.

‘Nah, I don’t usually celebrate Christmas,’ Lexa replied from behind the counter, drying the last dishes.

‘What? How can you not celebrate Christmas?’ It was usually about now that Lexa closed off entirely about her past, but for some reason it was different with Clarke.

‘I never liked it, I think its because I don’t really have any family to spend it with.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Lexa.’ She raised her eyes to meet with Clarke’s blue ones and saw genuine sorrow there.

‘No, no, it’s fine, really. I barely remember my parents.’ Lexa smiled at her.

‘How old were you?’ Clarke asked carefully, not wanting to push her boundaries.

‘Only two. They died in a car crash; I was in the back seat. They say it was a miracle I survived. I don’t remember it at all though.’ Clarke had stopped wiping benches, and instead was simply standing there, looking at Lexa with those clear blue eyes.

‘Who looked after you when you were a kid?’ Clarke asked. ‘You don’t have to tell me, it’s alright,’ she added, wanting to make sure Lexa was comfortable talking about this topic.

‘It’s fine; I want you to know.’ It was the truth. She wanted this blonde to know, even though she didn’t know why. Usually she avoided the topic of her past like vampires avoid sunlight, but right now she wanted Clarke to know a bit about how she had become the person she was now. ‘I went from foster family to foster family most of the time. I was in an orphanage for a few months, it was horrible. But I hated the foster families; they always treated me like I was something broken, or something to be pitied. Most of them tried to spoil me,’ Lexa chuckled, adding in with a lighter tone of voice. Clarke smiled a little too, then seemed to realise she wasn’t doing anything and continued to wipe each table. A comfortable silence fell, Clarke was processing what Lexa had told her and Lexa was fine with the silence. A few minutes later, they were both outside in the cold, locking the door. Lexa could see the twinkling lights of their Christmas tree through the glass, shining merrily in the corner.

‘I’m not doing anything for Christmas either, you know,’ Clarke said, casting Lexa a sideways look. ‘And I really feel like giving you the best Christmas of your life.’ The brunette looked at her quickly, wondering if this was going where she hoped it was going. ‘So, would you like to spend Christmas together?’ Blue eyes looked up at her, so filled with hope that she couldn’t help but smile.

‘I would love that,’ she said softly. It had been years since she had spent Christmas with anyone, although most of her friends invited her to their family gatherings, she always politely turned them down. Somehow, this was different.

‘Why don’t we hang out tonight too! Christmas eve is always a nice time to spend with… friends,’ Clarke paused on that last word, like she wished it was something else. Lexa just hummed in agreement, not wanting to sound too eager. In truth, she was bursting with excitement to spend this joyful holiday with the blonde, and found herself looking forward to it more than she had looked forward to Christmas in years.

‘Can we walk around and look at Christmas lights?’ Lexa asked hopefully. Clarke laughed and said yes, so they set off, walking down the street as soft snow fell from the dark sky. The brunette couldn’t help notice a big fluffy snowflake land on the girl next to her’s nose, and resisted the urge to boop her there gently. She was also transfixed by how the snowflakes caught in the blonde’s hair, making her look like a snow princess.

‘What are you looking at?’ Clarke asked, raising her eyebrows. Lexa realised she had been staring and quickly looked way.

‘Nothing.’ They continued on in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

A few minutes later, they reached the part of the neighbourhood with houses covered in Christmas lights and other decorations. One two storey house had a blow up Santa’s sleigh being pulled by reindeers on the roof, another had a Santa halfway down their chimney. Little kids walked with the families, pointing and exclaiming at the lights, which flashed and changed colour.

‘Which is your favourite?’ asked Clarke, looking around the street. Lexa studied each house, deciding which she liked most.

‘That one,’ she said, pointing. It was a little house tucked in the corner, the big lit up houses next to it stealing the spotlight.

‘I didn’t even see that one, jesus,’ Clarke said. It was clear why it was Lexa’s favourite. While other houses had blow up Santas and reindeer from the local store, this house had actual ice sculptures. Lights at the base made them appear to be glowing, and as Lexa watched, they slowly changed colour, going through all the colours of the rainbow. The biggest one was of Santa, placed in the middle of the garden. The ice glittered, casting little specks of light around it, not unlike a disco ball would. Clarke and Lexa walked closer, and as they did they saw the immense detail that had been put in. The fur on Santa’s coat was windswept, as if he was standing on a roof on a windy night. His sack was slung over his shoulder, and there were corners of presents poking out the top. Next to him, a reindeer glimmered, looking at them with eyes that seemed awfully lifelike for an ice sculpture. They spent a couple of minutes there, admiring each of the sculptures, before continuing on their way.

‘Hold up, shoelace.’ Clarke knelt down over her shoe and Lexa, who was a few steps ahead, looked at the colourfully lit house they were passing. That was, until she realised Clarke was wearing boots without laces on them.

‘Hang o-‘ She turned and got a face full of snow. She heard laughter somewhere to her left, and realised that the blonde must’ve thrown a snowball at her. ‘Asshole!’ she yelled, but quickly started gathering up snow to retaliate. But Clarke had a head start, and Lexa had barely scraped together one snowball before another came whizzing her way, hitting her shoulder.

‘Oh, you’re going to pay for that,’ Lexa said in a voice she hoped was a little bit intimidating.

‘Come at me,’ Clarke challenged, standing with her arms spread out like she was a target. Lexa threw, and the snowball landed on her hip as Clarke twisted to try and avoid it. They both bent down quickly, gathering snow as fast as they could. Lexa finished first, and ran to try and get closer for a better shot.

Clarke squealed as the snowball hit her right in the face, and Lexa quickly scrambled back when she realised Clarke had, in fact, two snowballs ready to go. Blonde hair flying, she raced after the brunette, trying to catch up to her. Lexa took cover behind a tree just as she threw her first snowball, instead hitting the tree trunk. Poking her head out, the brunette stuck out her tongue; forgetting that Clarke had another snowball and getting hit right in the face. Clarke bent over with a mixture of laughter and panting, but she didn’t really have any rest. Lexa was already piling together snow, ready to take her revenge.

Clarke was still bent over double, so Lexa took her tile strolling up to her, reading to shove a handful of snow in her face. Little did she know that Clarke was prepared, and when she was close enough, the blonde tacked Lexa over into soft snow on the side of the sidewalk, blonde hair flying. Clarke landed on top of Lexa, so close that their noses were almost touching. Lexa felt that same want again, deep in her gut, and she could see that reflected in the blonde’s blue eyes as well.

Before she knew what was happening, Clarke had pressed her lips to hers, and Lexa felt her whole body relax into the kiss. It was so soft, so gentle, but Lexa still saw stars behind her eyes and felt tingles go up her arms. Clarke pulled back, opening her clear blue eyes and looking down at her, like she couldn’t believe what just happened; if it had been real. Lexa gazed into her eyes, completely transfixed. The blonde looked like an angel, with the fluffy bits of snow in her hair and flushed cheeks. Then, in a whir of movement, Lexa got a face full of snow from Clarke, who laughed, still straddling Lexa.

‘Asshole!’ the brunette said, but she was smiling. She quickly grabbed a handful of snow and retaliated, hitting Clarke full in the face. ‘That’s what you get.’

Their snowball fight continued, chasing each other up the street and laughing as they went.

-

Lexa woke on Christmas morning to the sound of Christmas carols and the smell of fresh flowers. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around her to find herself in the cosy apartment she had become so familiar with over the past few months, with it’s pot plants and art supplies scattered everywhere. Green eyes quickly searched the room for the Clarke, finding her standing with her back to her in the kitchen, swaying in time with the music. Lexa felt a swell of happiness as she remembered the night before, remembering that Clarke, _Clarke_ , had kissed her.

After their walk they had returned to Clarke’s apartment because it was closer, and made do for dinner with the food she had had in her fridge. Lexa had been excited when Clarke insisted they have their dinner by candlelight, talking until the very beginning of dawn was upon them. By that time it had been too late for Lexa to go back to her apartment, so Clarke let her sleep on the couch. In the middle of the night, Clarke had come and joined her, snuggling up against her shoulder.

‘Morning cutie,’ Clarke said when she saw she had woken up. ‘And merry Christmas!’ The blonde was wearing a Santa hat that kept dropping down over her eyes, which Lexa thought was rather adorable.

‘Merry Christmas, Clarke,’ she replied. The blonde picked up another Santa had from the table and placed it on Lexa’s head, tucking a lock of her tangled hair behind her ear while she was at it.

‘If I knew we were going to hang out today I would’ve gotten you a present,’ Clarke said ruefully.

‘No no it’s okay, I didn’t get you one either so it doesn’t matter,’ Lexa said quickly.

‘So, uh, about yesterday…’ she trailed off, not sure how to begin.

‘Yesterday,’ Lexa repeated, almost dreamily.

‘We kissed,’ Clarke stated bluntly. Lexa felt a pang of worry go through her, not sure whether the other girl was happy about it or not. She had certainly seemed to be happy about it yesterday.  

‘Was that okay?’

‘It is… more than okay.’ The blonde said softly, her blue eyes coming up to meet green ones.

‘I think I like you rather a lot, Clarke,’ Lexa said, even though she was nervous that the girl opposite her didn’t return her feelings.

‘I think I like you rather a lot, too,’ the blonde whispered, drawing closer to Lexa.  

In the second before their lips met, Lexa saw Clarke’s eyes flutter shut and realised that this, this is what she wanted. She saw herself holding hands with Clarke, walking along as snow fell from above. She saw them travelling around the world together and growing older together, always hand in hand. And then Clarke made her mind go completely blank, capturing her lips ever so softly with her own.

Clarke and Lexa spent the rest of the day on that couch, talking, laughing and kissing.

‘Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ Lexa asked at one point, just wanting to me sure. The blonde next to her laughed, and Lexa could feel her laughter shaking through her own body.

‘Of course dummy, that’s what generally happens when you kiss someone.’

They decided not to tell the others yet, wanting to get comfortable in their relationship before telling anyone.

Lexa decided that maybe, Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.  

-

After the coffee shop closed, the five girls gathered in the music room to give out the Kris Kringle presents. Raven and Clarke had carried them from the tree and were now handing them out, reading the names on the envelopes of the cards to see whose was whose. They sat in the circle, excited to unwrap their presents. Lexa received her gift with a wink from Clarke, and felt to see if she could guess what it was. There was definitely a box in there and something she guessed was a book.

When everyone had their gifts, the unwrapping began. The room was filled with the sound of tearing wrapping paper and exclamations of delight when they saw what was inside. Lexa unwrapped hers carefully, letting the objects inside fall into her lap. The first object was a scented candle inside a cute box with a ribbon tied around the top.

The second object made her heart swell. It was a picture frame, and inside was the photo Raven had took of her and Clarke on the day they had decorated the Christmas tree. Lexa was giving the blonde a piggyback, and she was in midstride, racing around a table. Clarke’s hair was flying behind her, and one fist was raised in the air. She clutched the picture to her chest, feeling her whole body go warm with affection for the blonde.

‘Oh my god, I love this! Who was my Kris Kringle?’ Anya yelled, holding up a hand knitted scarf and matching beanie.

‘Shh, that is one of our most guarded secrets,’ Raven whispered.

‘Well, thank you to my mysterious Kris Kringle!’ Anya said instead, looking around at them all. They all shouted their thanks to their unknown Kris Kringle, holding their presents. Lexa had been the one to give Anya the scarf and beanie, knowing that the dirty blonde had almost bought another scarf earlier that year, looking at it wistfully in the store before walking away.

Lexa looked over at Clarke, hoping she had gotten a good gift.

(It was Lexa’s humble opinion that Clarke deserved the world, but she didn’t say this out loud.)

Clarke was examining a record player with excitement, smiling happily.

 

Later that evening when Clarke suggested that they all come over to her place for dinner, Lexa almost did a double take. It wasn’t that she was surprised that Clarke wanted to have people over at her place, or that she wanted to keep Clarke’s apartment just to herself, but instead because she knew Clarke had too many paintings to cover up. If they came to her place, they would all see them, and Lexa knew that Clarke hadn’t told anyone about her art except her. After all the girls had agreed to come and decided on a day, Lexa pulled the blonde aside.

‘Are you going to cover your paintings?’ She asked curiously.

‘No,’ Clarke replied simply.

‘You’re okay with them seeing them all?’ Clarke smiled a little.

‘Yeah, I am.’

‘I’m proud of you, I remember when you didn’t want anyone to see them but me, and even then you were so nervous. Look how far you’ve come,’ Lexa said returning Clarke’s smile.

Even though the brunette really was proud of Clarke, she also felt a little sad that something they had shared, just them, would now be shared with the others. At least they still had their books, the brunette remembered. They must have given each other enough books to fill a library now. Lexa was currently reading _The Silver Brumby_ , a little book that Clarke said had been her favourite when she was younger.

After organising to have dinner at Clarke’s place that Tuesday, the girls spent the rest of the evening together, laughing and singing Christmas carols until they all wandered home, feeling content and fulfilled.

-

‘Come in, come in!’ Clarke said, standing back from her doorway as Octavia, Raven, Lexa and Anya arrived. ‘Welcome to my humble home.’ As Lexa stepped in, she noticed it was a bit tidier than usual, and that she had some upbeat music playing in the background.

‘What’s cooking? It smells delicious.’

‘I’ve got cookies in the oven, and bolognaise on the stove,’ Clarke winked at Lexa as she said this, but subtly so none of the others noticed. The brunette kept her features mutual, but she couldn’t deny the shiver that went up her spine at the eye contact.

They all piled into the small apartment, taking off coats and taking off shoes in the doorway. Raven was the first to notice the paintings.

‘What the fuck Clarke, did you do these?’ she asked in amazement.

‘Yeah,’ Clarke replied, smiling. ‘Bit of a hobby of mine.’

‘Holy shit, these are, like, museum worthy. Or art gallery worthy. Either one.’ She bent over to look at one more closely, one depicting skyscrapers emerging from clouds. Everyone except Clarke and Lexa went to look at more paintings, expressing their wonder and amazement at Clarke’s talent.

‘I think this is going rather well, don’t you?’ Lexa said softly, so none of the others could hear. Clarke nodded, blushing slightly from all the praise. ‘I told you they’d love it.’

‘Hey Clarke, if you wanted to you could sell these at The Dropship, like Raven sells her little geometric animals,’ Octavia suggested, looking up from the painting she was looking at.

‘That would be cool,’ Clarke replied. ‘I could use the extra money.’

After the girls had stopped showering Clarke with endless compliments on her art, they sat down at the couches, their talk and laughter bubbling up, while the blonde stood in the kitchen with Lexa, finishing off the bolognaise.

‘Just to make sure you don’t burn it again,’ Lexa chuckled when she had joined her.

‘Shut up, I can make great bolognaise without you watching me,’ Clarke replied indignantly. Lexa blushed slightly, knowing that even if she were with the others on the couch, she would still probably be watching the blonde anyway. She was standing very close to her girlfriend, so close that she could smell her vanilla scent. Lexa looked over her shoulder, making sure the others were facing the other way, and wound her arm around the blonde’s waist slipping her fingers under Clarke’s shirt were the other’s wouldn’t be able to see even if they looked.

‘Oi, I’m trying _not_ to burn this food, remember?’

‘And?’ the brunette replied innocently.

‘And, what you’re doing is distracting.’

‘What, this?’ Lexa pressed her fingers against Clarke’s soft skin of her stomach, causing her muscles to tense.

‘Yes, that. That exactly.’ Clarke’s voice sounded slightly breathless. Lexa just chuckled and didn’t remove her hand, tracing small circles on her smooth skin. The blonde felt the brunette’s breath on her neck and couldn’t help the tingles that laced up and down her body.

‘I’ll get you back for this soon,’ Clarke vowed.

‘Come at me.’

Lexa’s hand quickly retreated though when she heard a yell of excitement from the girls on the couch behind them.

‘I love this song!’ Raven had jumped up enthusiastically from the couch as Taylor Swift’s _Shake it Off_ began playing. The other girls laughed and jumped up to join her, Octavia turning the volume up on Clarke’s speaker.

They spent the rest of the evening laughing and dancing, only stopping to eat Clarke’s bolognaise (which Lexa had to admit was delicious) and to have some of her cookies (which Lexa recognised as the same ones they had made together when they’d had their little flour fight).

Clarke did manage to get her revenge on Lexa during one of the songs, when they had all jokingly paired up with each other as if they where couples (not knowing about Clarke and Lexa) to have a slow dance. Lexa’s arms were around Clarke’s waist, and the blonde was resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder, nose almost touching her neck.

They revolved slowly in circles, the blonde made full advantage when the other’s backs were turned. The first time it happened, she simply moved the edge of the brunette’s shirt so she could kiss the skin on her shoulder, then returning to her position as if nothing had happened. The others kept joking and laughing around with their slow dancing, unaware of Clarke and Lexa. The next time it wouldn’t be seen, Clarke kissed the base of her neck, feeling goose bumps form where she touched and smiled smugly. She then kissed further up, making her way slowly towards her ear. Lexa’s hands tightened around her waist, her breath ghosting across the blonde’s shoulder. When Clarke reached Lexa’s earlobe, she gave it a little bite before moving back to resting her head on her shoulder, smiling slightly. She heard the girl she was leaning on give a little whine, and her smile grew wider.

‘What, you like that?’ she said teasingly. Lexa just whined more in reply. ‘Alright then.’ When they had turned to a spot where they others couldn’t see, she resumed what she had been doing. She felt the brunette shudder a little as she bit her ear lobe and neck, and felt a rush of heat in her core when she felt Lexa’s breath on her bare skin speed up a little.    

Clarke was annoyed when the song finished, meaning that the others had stopped pretending to be couples and they would surely notice if Clarke and Lexa kept going. Reluctantly Clarke pulled back, despite Lexa’s finger’s holding on to her shirt, and joined the other girls dancing to the next song. Lexa was left to try and steady her breathing before she joined them again.    

-

Clarke and Lexa spent the next week kissing in corners where no one could see them. Lexa often went to Clarke’s house just to end up napping, but neither of them had any complaints. The brunette felt so warm and safe cuddled up next to her girlfriend, and she wanted to savour the feeling forever.

Since they had dinner at Clarke’s house, the five girls began to spend more and more time together outside of work hours. Since there were always at least two people in the shop, this meant they had to organise it on Sundays, when they were closed, or after hours. Already, they spent time after hours in the garden talking, but they never actually went out together. They all agreed that they should do that more.

The first of many outings together was on that Sunday. They all piled into Octavia’s car, with Anya, Lexa and Clarke squeezing into the back seat. They were off to a Paintball place on the outskirts of the city, a place Raven had been dying to go to since she had first heard about it. Bellamy, Octavia’s brother, was also going to meet them there. Lexa knew it would get very competitive, very quickly, especially with the Blake siblings around. Clarke hadn’t met Bellamy yet, but she knew they would get along fine.

Once they were all in the car, Lexa leaned over Clarke’s lap to close the door, and she suddenly felt her body pressed up against Clarke’s, and caught a sniff of her hair, which always seemed to smell good. Her face was also now very close to her boob, which is always a plus. The door slammed shut and she retreated, almost reluctantly, and sat up straight in her spot in the middle of the back seat.

 

Lexa didn’t want their journey to end. Throughout their ride, she had been subtly teasing Clarke, so the others wouldn’t pick up on it. Anya, who was sitting on Lexa’s other side, was always looking at her phone since it was her job to choose the music, so Lexa didn’t think it was likely she would notice. First she had put her hand on her girlfriend’s thigh, just below where her shorts cut off, and moved her thumb in slow circles. She had slowly moved it up a little, pushing under the fabric of her shorts to the more sensitive skin, and smiled slightly when she heard Clarke’s breathing hitch. She had then started to knead gently with her fingers into her soft skin, moving a little towards her inner thigh.

Later on during their ride she had put her elbow on the top of her seat, as if she was going to look out of the back window, which conveniently placed her fingertips inches from Clarke’s neck. With a feather light touch, she trailed her index finger up and down the length of the blonde’s neck and watched her shiver slightly and tilt her head so more of her neck was within reach. The blonde’s breathing had steadily been getting faster, but she was doing a good job at making sure it wasn’t loud. All too soon, they had arrived, meaning Lexa had to stop her teasing.

 

As soon as she saw it, Lexa surveyed the Paintball field, her competitiveness already making her plan and strategize. It was about the size of a 50 metre swimming pool, with stacks of hay placed around so they could have something to hide behind.

There was a shout from the parking lot behind then and Lexa turned to see a tall boy jogging towards them. She recognised him as Octavia’s brother, Bellamy, and raised a hand in greeting.

When he reached them, Octavia and Bellamy hugged and promptly began their usual sibling bickering.

‘Oh yeah, if you’d shut up enough to listen, there’s a new member of our gang,’ Octavia said as Bellamy began to tell her that he obviously was going to beat her because he was in the military and very familiar with guns. ‘Bellamy, this is Clarke. Clarke, this is my asshole brother, Bellamy. Remember, she’s the one I told you about who works with us in the shop now,’ she said, turning towards her brother again.

‘Hey Clarke, I hope my sister isn’t annoying you too much.’

‘She does get on your nerves sometimes, doesn’t she?’ Clarke said in a stage whisper.

‘Just sometimes? I would think all the time is more accurate,’ Bellamy replied, whispering loudly.

‘Shut up you guys!’ Octavia said with her typical Octavia scowl, and the pair burst out laughing.

 

After having put on the camouflage jackets and trousers given to them, getting helmets adjusted and learning how to use the guns, they were finally ready. The rules were simple, get hit and you’re out, and the last player and their team wins that round. The first teams were Raven, Anya and Bellamy with blue armbands versus Lexa, Clarke and Octavia with red.

‘We’ve gotta crush them,’ Octavia said as they huddled down their end of the field. ‘Bellamy will never stop reminding me of it if we lose.’

‘How about we take one player each?’ Lexa suggested.

‘Nah, that’s hard because we can’t see who’s who behind the helmet visors. Just go for whoever you see.’

‘Alright, we got this. Lets go team!’

When the buzzer sounded, they were off. Lexa moved forwards, hiding behind the haystacks as she slowly made her way towards the middle. Clarke was to her left, making her way around the edge of the field. She guessed Octavia was already somewhere ahead of her, as three shots rung out across the field.

Suddenly there was a flash of blue to her left, and she saw someone from the blue team creeping up behind an unaware Clarke. Acting quickly, she ran out from behind the haystack, keeping low. The blue player was taking aim at Clarke, who still had her back turned, so Lexa would have to shoot now or risk Clarke getting out. She was just taking aim when the blue player took a shot, and Lexa held her breath for a split second, hoping that it would miss.

Paint splattered on the fence next to Clarke, missing by just inches. The blonde reacted quickly, spinning and crouching to the ground to see who had fired at her. Lexa fired her shot while the blue player was still in the same spot, hoping her aim was good enough to hit them. Pink paint splattered across the blue player’s shoulder just as blue paint hit them in the chest. Clarke and Lexa had both fired at the same time, both hitting their target. The blue player trudged off the field and took of their helmet, and Lexa saw that it was Anya.

‘I’m coming for you next time!’ she threatened from the sideline. ‘Just you wait!’

Soon, Clarke and Lexa joined Anya on the sidelines, leaving Octavia against both Bellamy and Raven. Raven had hit Lexa on the calf, while Bellamy had taken a shot from quite a long distance at Clarke, hitting her hip. Lexa had to say - it was quite an impressive shot.

‘Both Clarke and Lexa are out!’ Anya shouted, as none of them were in view and would know.

‘Go Octavia!’ Clarke and Lexa yelled at the same time, their joined voices drowning out Anya’s.

Suddenly, Octavia came into view, sprinting from haystack to haystack as paint splattered where she had been a split second before. She ducked as she ran, causing the blue player’s next shot to go overhead.

‘Get her, get her!’ Anya yelled in encouragement.

‘Come on Octavia! You got this!’ Clarke shouted.

The second blue player came into view, taking aim at Octavia. She would have to get at least one of them out now if she had any chance of winning. She positioned her gun on top of a haystack, using it to shield her body, taking aim at the first blue player. Firing shots off in rapid succession as paint landed around her, she managed to hit them right in the chest. It turned out to be Bellamy, who vowed to get Octavia out next round.

Clarke and Lexa cheered Octavia on, and Octavia took aim at the last blue player. However she wasn’t quick enough, and the last blue player, who must be Raven, had already ran off back into the maze of haystacks. Octavia too disappeared, and everyone on the sideline was yelling encouragement to their remaining team member. They heard four shots ring out, and a yell of triumph she recognised as Raven’s voice. Octavia came trudging back to the sideline, paint on her ankle.

‘She only hit my bloody ankle! I’ll get her next time,’ she said in a murderous voice as she arrived. Raven appeared as well, whooping in her victory. Bellamy and Anya were also cheering for her, while Clarke and Lexa said their ‘bad luck’s to Octavia.

‘You did pretty well though,’ Clarke said reasonably. ‘Lasted longer than us.’

‘And you got Bellamy out!’ Lexa said, and Octavia visably brightened.

‘That’s true.’

‘You guys ready for another round?’

‘We’re gonna take you down,’ Octavia said fiercely. The two teams separated, going to their separate ends of the field again.

‘Alright, guys. We can’t lose again, but you both did well so I think we’ve got it in the bag this time around.’ Clarke and Lexa nodded in agreement, although both of them knew Octavia was carrying their team. ‘Leave Raven to me this time if you can, but if you see anyone, shoot the living daylights outta them. Alright, lets get ready.’

‘Do you guys want to stick together this time? Just to see how it works.’ Clarke suggested.

‘Why not?’ Octavia replied. ‘We’ll head for the middle, ill watch the front, you two watch the sides and back if you can. Just say if you see anyone.’ The buzzer sounded, and they moved off towards the middle of the field, getting cover from the haystacks as they went.

A few minutes later, Clarke was the first to see anyone.

‘I can see someone, my side, pretty much directly ahead of me,’ she whispered.

‘Can you get a clean shot off?’ Octavia asked. Suddenly the blonde fired, and a yell of annoyance said she had hit her target. ‘I guess that’s a yes then,’ Octavia said with a chuckle.

‘One down, two to go.’

‘Shit, I see someone, they’re coming right at us,’ Octavia whispered urgently. ‘I got them.’ A split second after Octavia had lined up to take her shot, paint hit her right in the back. ‘Fuck!’ she swore, looking around for who had got her out, but they were nowhere to be seen. ‘Just you guys now, good luck.’

‘Let’s move, if they saw Octavia they probably saw us too,’ Lexa reasoned.

‘Good point.’

‘Nice shot before, by the way.’

‘Thanks.’ Lexa could tell she was smiling proudly, and Lexa wished she could actually see her face behind the visor.

Suddenly, two figures with blue armbands jumped out in front of them, shooting rapidly in their direction. One shot came dangerously close to Lexa as she dove to avoid it. Getting up again, she used a haystack as cover and quickly tried to line up a shot over the top. She saw Clarke out of the corner of her eye, doing the same. Lexa aimed, fired, and missed.

‘Dammit,’ she cursed, and aimed and fired two more shots before she hit the person closest to her on the thigh. She grinned to herself, glad to have got someone out that time. Clarke had disappeared, along with the other blue team player. Lexa advanced carefully, keeping an eye out for her girlfriend and for the enemy team. She heard yells of encouragement from Octavia, and two voices that she recognised as Raven and Anya’s, which meant that Bellamy must be the last person left on the other team.

It was about thirty seconds before anything else happened. Lexa heard shots ringing out straight ahead of her, and ran carefully towards the sound. Luckily she ended up right behind Bellamy, only a few metres away from his turned back.

‘Why, hello there.’ She said, and fired a shot straight into his back.

‘Dammit Lexa!’ he swore. ‘I was about 2 seconds away from hitting her.’

‘Looks like you lost though, which makes us even.’ They walked back to the others, Clarke joining them a second later.

When Octavia saw that they had one, she squealed and congratulated both of them.

‘Ready for another round? Whoever wins this round takes all’ Anya said.

‘Let’s go.’

They spent the rest of the afternoon playing Paintball, switching up the teams and doing free for all rounds. By the end of the day they were all covered head to two in paint, all tired but laughing happily.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed that chapter !!   
> im currently camping without wifi so i wont be able to post the next chapter for a week or two :(  
> but if anyone wants to message me about whatever my tumblr is lethalexa   
> comments literally make my day so feel free  
> thank you for reading !!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long to upload, ive been camping for the past two weeks !!  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter !!  
> if you guys ever want to bug me about uploading the next chapter my tumblr is lethalexa  
> i hope you guys all have a good day/evening/night !!  
> ALSO trigger warnings for substance abuse

Lexa nudged Clarke awake as they landed at the airport. The blonde had been sleeping on her shoulder for the majority of the ride, having gotten up at 4:30 to catch the plane.

Clarke had invited Lexa down with her to her mother’s house for a week for New Years Day.

‘I know you’ve got almost no time to prepare,’ she had said, ‘But I was wondering if you wanted to come down to my mum’s for New years? I’m flying out day after tomorrow. I forgot til yesterday to invite you.’ Lexa had agreed at once, loving the idea of spending New Years with her girlfriend. She was slightly nervous about meeting her mum and Clarke hadn’t told her much about her, but she hoped it would go alright.

-

It did not go alright.

‘Hello Clarke.’ Abby Griffin’s voice was formal, as if Clarke was someone from work she didn’t particularly like.

‘Hello mum,’ Clarke replied, equally as formally.

‘Who’ve you got here?’ Abby asked, looked at Lexa.

‘This is Lexa, she’s my girlfriend.’ Abby looked a little shocked, looking between them. Lexa didn’t get to say hello before the older woman was talking again.

‘Girlfriend? Clarke, didn’t you think this through? This relationship is a bad idea,’ She said harshly, looking at her daughter with piercing eyes.

‘Of course I thought this through,’ Clarke fired up. ‘Anyway, I can do what I want, no matter what you think.’

‘Well you’ve certainly shown me that,’ Abby muttered.

Without another word, Clarke began walking towards the exit, not bothering to wait for her mother. Lexa followed without a word, not really sure what to say.

When Clarke stood in the taxi line, Abby looked offended.

‘I bought the car.’

‘I know. I’m getting taxi.’

Abby sighed, but walked towards the parking lot anyway. Lexa didn’t know whether to ask about what was happening between her girlfriend and her mother, but she decided that if she was going to live with them she probably should get some idea, even if it was vague.

‘What’s up with you and your mum?’ She asked tentatively.

‘I don’t want to talk about it, I’m sorry Lexa, this was a bad idea.’ Lexa’s eyes searched for blue ones, but they remained fixed on the floor. The blonde clearly wasn’t in the best mood, so she didn’t push any further.

When they got in the taxi Lexa held her girlfriend’s hand, which made her visably relax a little, the entire way to Abby’s house.

-

‘You two are not sleeping in the same bedroom.’ Abby’s hard voice sounded from further into the house when they arrived.

‘Why not?’ Clarke asked incredulously.

‘Remember what happened with Finn? This is too soon after that. You won’t be sleeping in the same room under this roof.’ She glared at Lexa as she said this. Clarke looked like she wanted to fight back, but Lexa just squeezed her hand.

‘Just leave it for now.’ The brunette didn’t want to be the cause of Clarke and her Mum fighting. The blonde huffed but kept her mouth shut, leading the way to the bedrooms.

‘I can’t believe her,’ Clarke said in rage. ‘She can’t just order me around like I’m 5 years old.’ The brunette said nothing, not knowing what to say. ‘Okay, my room is this one, you can dump your suitcase in there.’

‘I thought we had to sleep in separate rooms?’ Lexa asked.

‘You think I’m going to let her control me? We’ll share, and she can’t do anything to stop us.’ Lexa smiled a little at how headstrong her girlfriend was, and let herself be lead into the blonde’s room.

The walls were painted white, but little of them could be seen. They were covered in canvases and drawings. On the roof, there was a detailed painting of the night sky, speckled with stars, and greyish blue clouds that looked to be spray-painted on. It looked beautiful.

‘Did you do all these?’ Lexa said in wonder. She was reminded of the first time she entered the blonde’s apartment, seeing those paintings for the first time.

‘Yeah.’ Clarke dumped her bag on her double bed, which had a light pink duvet.

‘I’m starving, lets go get some food,’ Clarke suggested, heading back to the kitchen. As they made their way back down the hallway, Clarke’s mood visibly changed. She stood up straighter, her shoulders pulled back, and her features hardened.  

‘What food have you got?’ she asked in an indifferent voice, standing in the doorway. Lexa was standing just behind her, not really sure what to do.

‘You can look in the fridge,’ Abby’s curt voice replied from the oven. The blonde made her way over to the fridge, opened it, and made a noise of disgust.

‘This is hardly _food_ ,’ Clarke complained.

‘You can go out and get what you want then.’

‘Fine, I will. Lexa, you want to come?’ Her voice softened at Lexa’s name, blue eyes becoming less stormy.

‘I think I’ll just unpack my stuff for now,’ Lexa said, knowing that Clarke might want some time alone to think.

‘Okay, I’ll be back in twenty minutes.’ She shot Lexa a smile as she walked out the door, but the brunette could see her eyes blazing.

She heard the front door close behind her girlfriend, and a deep sigh from the woman in front of her.

‘I swear, that girl is impossible sometimes.’ Before Lexa could react, she was uncontrollably sobbing on the floor of her kitchen, her body shaking.

‘Ms Griffin, are you alright?’ Lexa asked, knowing that it was a stupid question as Abby was clearly not alright.

‘I thought she would have grown up a bit while she was away,’ Abby gasped between sobs. ‘Maybe even have seen the error of her ways.’ Lexa had no idea what she was talking about, although the idea that maybe Clarke’s mother didn’t approve of her daughter being bisexual crossed her mind. She was uncertain about what to do, considering this woman seemed to hate her before she’d said a word to her.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ she said tentatively, kneeling down beside the older woman. She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, but she knew that she couldn’t just leave Abby there on the ground. She expected the older woman to push her away, but instead she seemed to take comfort in someone being there.

‘What has she told you?’ she asked, still not meeting Lexa’s eyes.

‘Nothing, I don’t think,’ Lexa replied, sitting awkwardly beside her.

‘Of course she didn’t. You deserve to know. Well, if she hasn’t told you, I will,’ Abby said as she seemed to try and calm herself down. ‘It began with her father dying. It happened about a year before she moved and started working with you guys.’ Lexa nodded, remembering that day all those months ago.

‘When he died, she held all of her grief inside of her. It might also have been that her boyfriend at the time broke up with her a week later, and both of those things combined just overwhelmed her.’ Abby grimaced at the memory.

‘Starting hanging around the wrong crowd of people,’ the older woman continued. ‘I think it was them who started it. She got addicted to drugs, barely came home at night, probably off in some dodgy alleyway all night.

She wouldn’t let me help her. She avoided me like I was the black plague, and I could never stop her from doing the drugs.’ Abby broke down again in sobs, and it was a moment before she regained some control and continued telling Lexa the story. The brunette was absolutely stunned, never have thought that Clarke had been through things like this.

‘One night I came home from work and found her passed out on the couch, completely drugged up. I work in a hospital, but I specialise in surgeries and I have almost no experience with drugs. I did the only thing I thought would help, I took her to the hospital I work at. They put her in the detoxification ward for a few days. Once she had recovered, I asked if they could put her in a rehab centre.’ Lexa was shocked; Clarke had never seemed to be someone to do drugs.

‘Clarke hated me for it. She didn’t think she needed it, but she couldn’t escape from it. She was in residential treatment. They did substance abuse therapy, cognitive-behavioural therapy, she had counsellors, the twelve step program, relapse prevention, they gave her every kind of treatment they could. She finally snapped when they suggested family therapy to help her recover.’ Abby was sitting up straight now, as if telling the story had distracted her from her sobbing. Lexa hadn’t said a word, barely moving beside the woman as she told the tale.

‘She ran away from the rehab centre she was at, and she still hasn’t told anyone how she did it. I didn’t hear from her for months. Clarke completely betrayed me, I don’t think I can trust her again. She texted one of her friends from before her father died, saying she was okay and not to look for her. When I finally did talk to her again, it was a brief 30 second phone call, explaining that she had used the money she got from her father’s will to buy an apartment and she had got a job at a coffee shop. I haven’t seen her until today, when she stepped off that plane. She only sent me a message yesterday to say she was coming. I don’t know why she’s here when she clearly doesn’t want to be,’ Abby concluded. Lexa sat in stunned silence beside her, not knowing what to say. It was several moments before either of them said anything again.

‘If its any comfort to you, she hasn’t done drugs again since then,’ Lexa said softly. ‘She’s turned her life around since then.’ Abby sniffled but nodded. ‘Maybe she came here to try and make up with you,’ she suggested.

‘She has a funny way of showing it.’

Once Abby had calmed down and had resumed whatever she was baking in the kitchen, Lexa retreated upstairs, lost in her thoughts.

 

Clarke returned from getting food, which to her consisted of chips and pasta. When she arrived in her bedroom where Lexa was sitting on her bed, she smiled brightly and sat down beside her. She opened her mouth to speak, but Lexa cut her off before she could say anything.

‘Why did you never tell me?’ she asked, not meeting the blue eyes which were undoubtedly searching for hers.

‘Tell you what?’ And then it dawned on her, and her face turned angry. ‘Did my mother tell you? She had no right-‘ she began angrily, only to be cut off again.

‘She was pretty upset. Broke down right after you left.’

‘Boo hoo. Honestly, I’m over it. I came here thinking that maybe she would put some effort into healing this, but clearly not.’

‘I think she wants to fix it.’

‘She has a funny way of showing it.’

‘You could maybe give her a chance-‘ this time it was Lexa’s turn to be cut off.

‘Give _her_ a chance? Are you really taking her side with this?’ Her voice rose, glaring at the brunette

‘I’m not taking anyone’s side, I’m just saying-‘

‘Well it sure sounds like it.’ They sat in silence for a few seconds, the blonde glaring at the wall.

‘Look, Clarke, you have every reason to be angry, but you came here in hopes of fixing things, remember? You said so yourself.’ She waited to see if the blonde would speak, and when she didn’t, Lexa went on. ‘I don’t know your mother that well, but I’m pretty sure she wants to too.’ There was silence for a few beats.

‘You want to know why I didn’t tell you?’ Clarke said, finally looking at Lexa with her blazing blue eyes. ‘Because I didn’t want you to get mixed up in my shit ass past. I wanted to move on. Get a new life. I didn’t want you to change how you felt about me over something that I’ve left behind.’ Her voice softened a little at the end, her eyes turning imploring. ‘And I hope it won’t.’

‘It doesn’t, Clarke. It doesn’t change anything. The Clarke you are now is perfect, and a past Clarke isn’t going to change that.’ The blonde was silent for a few seconds, but then threw her arms around her girlfriend in a tight hug.

‘Promise?’ she whispered, slightly muffled by Lexa’s hair.

‘Promise.’  

 

When they retreated downstairs again, Clarke was still sceptical about giving her mother a chance, still believing that Abby wasn’t putting in any effort. Although this time Clarke wasn’t so quick to start a fight, and managed to have a short, tense conversation that didn’t end in shouting.

-

Lexa only just managed to keep her jaw from dropping when Clarke walked out of the changing rooms at their local pool. The blonde was wearing a rather revealing pale pink bikini, and Lexa felt heat flush her cheeks as she saw the blonde’s bare midsection.

When she had suggested she and her girlfriend go swimming, she couldn’t deny that half the reason behind the suggestion was just to see her in a bikini.

But Lexa would never admit that.

Instead she told her girlfriend that maybe it was a good idea to have some time away from her mother, just to have fun.

‘What are you looking at?’ Clarke said, knowing full well what she was looking at.

‘Nothing,’ she replied quickly, looking away towards the pool. When she looked back at the blonde, she winked and strode past her, leading the way.

‘Come on then, slowpoke.’

 

When they arrived at the pool’s edge, Lexa dived in neatly at the deep end with barely a splash. When she resurfaced, she saw Clarke looking at her with amazement.

‘Where did you learn to dive like that? There was basically, like, no splash.’

‘I was part of my school’s swim squad all through high school,’ Lexa replied, floating effortlessly in the water.

‘I guess that’s where you get that body of yours then,’ Clarke said unabashedly as the brunette blushed.

‘Shut up. Are you coming in or not?’

‘Why, of course.’ With that she jumped, curling into a ball in mid air and creating a massive splash as she landed in the water. Lexa only just shut her eyes in time as water cascaded over her.

‘Was that really necessary?’ the brunette asked as her girlfriend resurfaced.

‘Of course. Bombs are always a necessity when you go to the pool. You should do one now.’

‘I’m not doing one of those.’

‘Come on, it’ll be fun.’ Clarke had come closer to her, grabbing her hands under the water. Once or twice their legs collided as they kicked to keep themselves afloat, but neither of them minded.

‘No,’ Lexa said stubbornly, but she had a smile on her face.

‘Now you’re doing this just out of stubbornness, aren’t you?’ Clarke teased.

‘Well, yes, but I’m also not a 6 year old.’

‘We can be 6 year olds once in a while, Lex. Do it!’ the blonde encouraged, giving her a nudge towards the pool edge. Lexa rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling.

‘Fine.’ She swam easily towards the edge of the pool, pushing herself out of the water and standing up. As she did this, Clarke watched the water roll off her smooth skin, and the muscles in her arms as she rose out of the water and felt her stomach do a flip.

‘You ready for the greatest bomb of all time?’ Lexa said.

‘I’m not so sure about that. Mine was pretty good. You can try your best to beat it though,’ Clarke challenged.

‘You’re on.’ The brunette took a few steps back and paused for a second, looking at Clarke will a small smirk. She then bounded forward and leapt off the edge of the pool, her body tucking into a ball. But, instead of just landing like that, she did a flip in mid air, landing in the water with a massive splash.

‘What the fuck,’ Clarke said as her head popped up out of the water again, her hands smoothing her hair out of her face.

‘Told you I’d do the greatest bomb of all time,’ she said with a smug grin.

‘Don’t tell me they taught you how to do flips in squad,’ the blonde said in disbelief.

‘I may have conveniently left out the fact I also did diving for a few years in high school?’

‘What else did you do, water polo?’ Clarke said sarcastically, coming closer to her in the water.

‘Yep.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me. Did you do, like, every swimming related sport there is?’

‘Well I’ve never tried surfing, but I’ve always wanted to.’ The two girls were now very close together, barely any space separating them.

‘You’d probably be great at it.’ Lexa noticed how the blue of the water brought out the blue of her girlfriend’s eyes.  

‘You don’t know that, I’ve never done it.’ The water made Clarke’s hair glisten, like little diamonds were scattered throughout the strands.

‘Maybe you should.’ The water made her eyelashes looked dark and long.

‘Yeah.’ And suddenly her lips were on hers, and her hands pulling her body closer in the water. They broke apart quickly though, realising that it was hard to stay afloat when your hands are preoccupied and you’re very distracted from your surroundings. Lexa remembered the first time they kissed, lying in the snow on Christmas Eve. Taking inspiration from that moment, she brought her hand up and splashed some water into Clarke’s face, making her gasp in shock.

‘Asshole!’ she said indignantly, glaring at her. But her glare turned quickly into a smile when she saw Lexa laughing, and splashed her back.  

It quickly turned into a water fight.  

-

The next few days passed with only a handful of conversations between Clarke and Abby. They mostly just avoided each other, and if they were in the same room, pretended not to notice each other.

It was on their fourth night that Lexa decided that if neither of them were going to start trying to heal their relationship, she was.

While Clarke was in her room, Lexa slipped Abby a piece of paper, knowing that Clarke would be able to hear their voices if they talked. The older woman picked up the paper, read it, nodded, and went back to what she was doing as if nothing had happened.

Abby had been more civil towards Lexa in the last couple of days. She seemed to recognise how her daughter’s eyes lit up whenever she saw the brunette, and how much happier she seemed to be around her, even if she was pissed at her mum at the same time. For the first few days, the older woman had told Clarke numerous times that it was too soon to have another emotional attachment with someone, which often ended in Clarke yelling right back at her and saying Lexa was the reason she was alive and well today.

‘Am I really the reason you’re doing well now?’ Lexa had asked after that particular argument.  

‘I meant everything I said.’ Lexa smiled, and the blonde returned it, entwining their hands together.

-

That night, Clarke and Lexa had arrived at a local restaurant where Lexa had made a reservation, sitting down at a table near the corner.

‘This can’t be right,’ Clarke said in puzzlement. ‘There this isn’t a table for two.’

‘That’s because there isn’t only two people I made the reservation for,’ Lexa said nervously. ‘I invited your mother too.’

‘You _what_?’ Clarke hissed.

‘It’s time you two starting actually sorting things out,’ Lexa explained. ‘Unless you guys want to disrupt everyone else’s dinners, you can’t have shouting matches in here. Maybe something will come out of it.’

Clarke grumbled but didn’t say anything else after that.

Abby arrived a few minutes later, sitting down next to them without a word.

‘Lets order,’ Lexa suggested, breaking the silence. They each picked up a menu, and when the waiter came around they all ordered their food. Silence fell again, and Lexa hoped either Clarke or Abby would say something to each other. After another minute of silence and pointed glaring at walls, Lexa decided she would have to begin conversation.

‘I organised this to try and maybe get the healing started between you two,’ she began, looking nervously between the two women. Neither of them said anything. ‘You both have told me you would like to fix things with each other.’ Both Abby and Clarke looked up at that. ‘If you two keep ignoring each other, that’s never going to happen.’

‘I would put more effort in if she put in effort,’ Clarke said sulkily.

‘ _I’m_ not putting in effort? Did I not let you stay in my house, eat my food and let your girlfriend stay too? I’m putting in plenty of effort, it’s you who’s doing nothing.’

‘I was the one who organised coming here in the first place. All you’ve done for me is take me to a hospital and put me in a rehab centre and take my life to a deeper level of hell.’

‘Maybe,’ Lexa cut in before it could get out of hand, ‘you both need to recognise that you’re both trying, and you’re both a little bit in the wrong, and forgive.’

‘I was never in the wrong, she was the one who was taking my entire life away from me.’ Clarke argued, eyes flashing.

‘The life you reduced to drugs, you mean.’

‘At least it was mine,’ the blonde countered. ‘I got better without your help. You did nothing but hold me back.’

‘I was just trying-‘

‘Fighting isn’t going to get anywhere. You have to forgive and move past it. You both want this to heal, and for that you need to stop fighting.’ Clarke looked down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. Abby sat in silence, staring at the wall.

‘Fine then. I’m sorry.’ This took Lexa by surprise, as she thought Abby would be the one to apologise first. ‘I’m sorry I starting the drugs thing, I’m sorry I ran away from rehab, I’m sorry I didn’t call you for months. There. Happy?’ Abby was still glaring at a wall, but she finally relented.

‘I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have forced you into rehab, or been so hard on you.’  

‘It’s going to take much more than an apology for you guys to fix it, you guys have to do your best not to fight and put the past behind you.’ They both nodded, and Lexa thought that she had done enough for that night. Their food arrived and they ate mostly in silence, although it was a lot less tense than usual. Abby asked if Clarke wanted any sauce, and Clarke offered to share her chips with her, which was a massive improvement to the glaring the pair had been doing previously.

 

That evening, Clarke and Lexa were curled up in bed together, Abby having delt with the fact they would be sharing whether she liked it or not.

‘Thank you for what you did today,’ Clarke said softly. ‘I don’t think we would’ve been able to apologise like that without you there.’

‘I’m just doing what I can for you, Clarke.’ The blonde loved the way her girlfriend clicked her tongue when saying the ‘c’ and ‘k’ of her name.

‘I’m really glad I met you, Lexa.’

‘I’m really glad I met you too, Clarke.’

‘I think I’m in love with you.’

‘I think I’m in love with you, too.’ She couldn’t see, but she knew the blonde was smiling in the dark. ‘I know you’re tired, but can I kiss you?’

‘I would never say no to kisses, Lex.’ And with that, Lexa’s lips found Clarke’s in the dark and kissed her softly but surely. She smiled against her girlfriend’s lips, knowing there was no place she’d rather be.

-

The next morning, Lexa felt Clarke get up uncharacteristically early.

‘Where you going?’ she mumbled, pulling the blankets up to make up for her sudden loss of heat from were Clarke was.

‘I’m going to make Mum breakfast,’ She whispered before she left for the kitchen, closing the door behind her. Lexa fell back asleep quickly, but she didn’t feel as warm or comfy as she had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading !!  
> comments and kudos make me v happy so feel free to drop me some of those :)  
> xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey heyyyy   
> i hope you've all been doing well !!   
> so i've never written smut before so i really have no idea how to do it, but theres some of that in this chapter.   
> i'm sorry this chapter is pretty short compared to the other ones i really should've divided up the story better lmao   
> thank you for readingg xx

Lexa was sad to leave the Griffin house by the time she had to leave.

Over the last few days, Clarke and Abby had actually started to get along, and they hadn’t actually fought since their dinner. There were a few glares and awkward silences sometimes, but as they week wore on they warmed up to each other more.

On their last day there, Abby had offered to take the girls shopping. Lexa politely declined, but urged Clarke to go with her mother. She hoped that they would get along, even when she wasn’t around.

When they had got back, Lexa could see that Clarke was excited about all the new things she had bought, which seemed to be a lot, judging from the bags in her hands.

‘I can’t wait to show you this new bikini I got,’ She said excitedly.

‘I’d love to see it.’ Lexa said, blushing slightly at the thought of Clarke’s exposed skin.

‘When we get back, and when we get some warm weather, we’ll go down to the beach,’ Clarke suggested. ‘Maybe you can learn to surfer. You’d be such a hot surfer chick, honestly.’

‘Shut up.’

-

‘Dude, I actually _missed_ you,’ Anya said in amazement as Lexa entered the shop on her first shift back after her week at Abby’s house.

‘Of course you did, I’m awesome.’ Anya rolled her eyes.

‘Look, there’s your welcome back present. A long line of customers.’ She said, gesturing to the counter where there was indeed a line of people waiting to order.

‘What a thoughtful gift, I can never top this one,’ Lexa replied sarcastically, but both girls cracked into wide smiles and hugged before getting on with their work.

Clarke had asked Lexa not to mention her past to the others, saying that she would do it in her own time. The brunette knew Clarke would tell them, just when she was more comfortable and it was further in the past.

‘It’s Clarke’s birthday coming up,’ Lexa commented to Anya. ‘And I have a couple of ideas for a group present.’

-

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARKE!’ Four girls yelled as the blonde entered the shop that morning.

‘Thanks guys!’ She went around and gave each of them a hug.

All week, Clarke had been banned from the shop. She didn’t know what the others were up to, but she guessed it was something that had to be done in The Dropship. Curious, she looked around but couldn’t see anything different.

‘Looking for something are you?’ Raven said accusingly.

‘Oh, shut up.’

‘You’ll see it soon enough,’ Octavia said mysteriously.

Lexa gave her girlfriend _that look_ and left the room, saying something about looking for another book to read. Upstairs in her part of the Dropship, she dragged her finger along the spines of the books on the shelves, waiting for the blonde.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she heard the familiar footsteps on the stairs and turned towards the door from where she was standing to the left. The door opened and Lexa saw the familiar those blonde curls and clear blue eyes. The door shut quietly behind them, and Lexa stepped closer to Clarke.

‘Happy birthday, Clarke.’

‘Thank you for congratulating me on being one year closer to 100,’ she replied playfully.

‘Oh shut up.’ Lexa closed the distance between them and suddenly was locked in a soft, tender kiss. Her hands cupped Clarke’s cheeks and she felt two hands wind around her waist. Reluctantly Lexa pulled away, earning a soft whine from the blonde.

‘I have a present for you.’ She smiled as she saw her favourite blue eyes light up. She pulled a small package from her jacket pocket, wrapped in blue and silver striped wrapping paper.

‘You didn’t have to get me a present,’ Clarke said looking up at her.

‘Of course I did,’ Lexa protested, pushing the wrapped box into her hands. She took it then brought it up to her ear and shook it, like little kids shake their Christmas presents before they can open them.

‘Nope, I’ve got no clue what this is,’ Clarke admitted.

‘Open it.’ In true Clarke fashion, she ripped the wrapping paper off with relish, revealing a small box. She opened the lid and saw a necklace sitting snugly in the box.

‘It’s a snowflake,’ Clarke said.

‘To remind you of our first kiss,’ Lexa said simply. ‘Now when you wear it, you know I’ll always be with you. Sitting right above your heartbeat.’  

‘Who knew you’d be such a sap,’ Clarke teased, but she then went on to whisper

‘I love it,’ as she lifted it out of the box, making the simple snowflake glitter in the light. It wasn’t elaborate or fancy, just simple and elegant.

Clarke held the necklace out to her.

‘Can you help me put it on?’ she asked, pulling her hair up. Lexa took the silver chain from her hands and placed the necklace around her girlfriend’s neck, connecting it at the back. Seeing Clarke’s bare soft skin so close to her, she couldn’t help herself. She felt the blonde lean back into her a little as Lexa kissed the back of her neck, making her way across her shoulder and up towards her ear, nibbling a little as she went.

Clarke let out a little sigh, and Lexa pressed her hands against her stomach as she let her fingers roam under her shirt. Clarke leaned back on her suddenly, causing Lexa to be pushed against the wall behind her. Clarke turned, blonde hair flying, her eyes looking deep into Lexa’s for a moment before crashing their lips together, Lexa’s hands now tangling in her hair.

Lexa felt the blonde’s body push up against hers and had to exercise her self control and remind herself where they were. Footsteps coming up the stairs forced them to jump apart and make themselves look normal, tidying hair and straightening shirts. The door opened to reveal Raven, poking her head through into the room.

‘Clarke,’ she drawled. ‘We have a present for you.’ She disappeared back downstairs with a swish of brunette hair and a wink, as if she knew exactly what Clarke and Lexa had been doing seconds before.     

‘I better go downstairs then,’ Clarke said, looking back up at Lexa, who pouted.

‘Two more minutes?’ The blonde rolled her eyes but grinned, and they resumed where they had left off.

‘It’s this way, Clarke,’ Octavia said, leading the way to the back of the shop. Clarke followed Octavia, giving Lexa a quizzical look and she knew the blonde was wondering about the mysterious disappearance of Raven and Anya. Lexa trailed behind the two girls, bubbling with excitement and nerves, hoping that Clarke would love what the four girls had put together for her in the past week. They reached a door of what Clarke would think as an ordinary storage room.

Clarke turned the doorknob, opening the door to reveal a dark room, like Lexa had planned.

‘Go in,’ Octavia said cheekily.

‘This better not be a prank where you lock me inside,’ Clarke warned, knowing that was exactly the kind of thing she would find funny.   

‘You’ll just have to go in and find out.’ Clarke cautiously took a few steps into the room, not knowing what to expect.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARKE!’ Four voices yelled, and the lights turned on, revealing Anya and Raven, and the beautiful art studio they were standing in.

That Clarke was standing in. Before she could take it all in, Raven and Anya were chucking balloons at her, streamers were flying everywhere and everyone was yelling and throwing the balloons at each other.

Ten minutes later, Clarke had somehow ended up with a plastic crown Lexa did not know the origins of, Octavia covered in streamers, Raven and Anya were on the floor having a tickle fight and Lexa had gathered every balloon she could reach into the corner so she could throw them at anyone when she felt like it.

‘You guys,’ panted Clarke, ‘made this for me?’

‘It’s your own art studio!’ Octavia exclaimed, skipping around the room with streamers flying behind her.

Lexa watched as Clarke took in what the four girls had made for her, the painted white walls, the shelves of paint brushes, paints, easels, everything an artist could ask for.

‘I honestly have no idea what to say,’ Clarke said, still slowly turning on the spot.

‘I mean a ‘thank you’ would be nice,’ Raven teased from the floor between gasps for breath as she and Anya finally ended their tickle fight.  

‘Shut up Reyes,’ Clarke replied. ‘But thank you, guys. This is probably the most anyone’s ever done for me for my birthday.’

‘You’re welcome,’ the four girls chorused in sync, grinning at the stunned blonde.

‘Okay, right now this art studio is looking a little clean, is it not?’ Raven said with a twinkle in her eye. Anya, Octavia and Lexa grinned, knowing what was coming next. ‘How about we do something about it?’

Five minutes later, the five girls had got plastic to cover the floor and shelves, prepped many balloons, filling them with paint and sticking them on one of the plain white walls. They had also gotten big oversized grey shirts that came down to mid thigh on all of them, just so they didn’t get too covered in paint.

The girls stood in a line, about three metres from the wall, darts in hand.

‘Ready?’ Raven asked, looking at each of them.

They all nodded.

‘FIRE!’ Raven yelled, and the girls threw their darts, some thudding into the wall and some hitting the paint filled balloons, making them explode and splash vibrant colour on the white wall.

The girls threw the darts until only one balloon remained, each taking turns at trying to hit it. It was surprisingly difficult, but Lexa ended up getting it right in the middle, causing blue paint to splatter the wall.

What was once a clean white wall was now bursting with colour, streaking down and making the wall the most colourful thing in the room.

‘Thank you guys so much for this, it’s definitely the best gift anyone has ever given me,’ Clarke said gratefully, looking at each of them in turn.

‘Glad you like it.’

-

‘You guys finished already?’ Octavia’s voice said from behind them, and Clarke and Lexa broke away from their kiss abruptly. Octavia was leaning against the doorway of Clarke’s new studio behind them, as if she’d been there the whole time. She laughed when both Clarke and Lexa’s faces turned bright red.

‘You guys gotta get back, there are a shit ton of customers today.’

‘Right,’ Lexa said, trying in vain to have some dignity.

‘Sorry,’ Clarke added.

‘Hang on, aren’t you surprised?’ Lexa asked Octavia.

‘Surprised about what?’ the brunette replied, raising one eyebrow.

‘Well,’ Lexa paused. ‘Us,’ she said, gesturing between her and Clarke.

‘Are you kidding? You guys have flirted since you met, and basically have eye sex whenever you’re in the same room together. Literally everyone knows.’

‘Oh,’ Lexa said in a small voice. Clarke was less surprised, she guessed that the other girls must’ve had some idea of what was going on by now.

‘Come on, we got customers to serve.’

-

‘This was definitely one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had,’ Clarke said, closing the door behind Anya, Raven and Octavia as they left to go home.

When Raven had yelled about Clarke and Lexa being together after they closed down the shop, the other girls just shrugged and continued on with their work.

Clarke had invited them all over for dinner that night, a dinner filled with laughs and music and Chaz bounding around licking everyone.

Raven had given Clarke a knowing wink as she walked out the door, knowing that Lexa had stayed behind as the others left.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it,’ Lexa replied, and suddenly Clarke found herself pushed up against the wall, Lexa’s dark eyes bearing into her own.  ‘I’ve been waiting all night for this,’ she said softly.

‘For what, exactly?’ Clarke teased. In reply, Lexa pushed her lips against hers, hands holding Clarke’s wrists against the wall. Lexa’s hands guided Clarke’s up the wall and above her head, so she could hold them both in one hand while her other explored Clarke’s stomach and hips. Suddenly neither of them are holding back in their kiss, tongue and teeth and lips all clashing together.

Lexa pushed her body against Clarke’s, trying to get impossibly closer to this woman she loves so dearly. Clarke bit her lip, and Lexa knows there is no stopping now. Picking her up, Lexa carried Clarke over to her bed as Clarke wrapped her legs around her waist. She peppered the brunette’s shoulder with kisses and nibbles, and Lexa felt as if she would explode.

Moving almost frantically, she set Clarke down on the bed and pulled her shirt off before reconnecting their lips, heated as ever. Lexa felt hands trail around her waist, and before she knows it Clarke has pulled her back, so she is lying on top of the blonde.

She isn’t aware of Clarke’s deft fingers undoing the buttons of her flannel until her hands are on her skin, with no fabric to move around. Lexa turns the attention away from Clarke’s mouth, instead placing kisses along her neck and nibbling at her jawline, until reaching her earlobe as Clarke tipped her head back. She nibbled on it briefly before returning to capture Clarke’s lips. Her hands had been trailing lightly over Clarke’s sides, teasing her and causing the blonde to grow impatient.

Her hands found the clasp of the blonde’s bra, nimbly undoing it, exposing her breasts to her. Lexa nibbled and sucked and licked everywhere, only avoiding Clarke’s nipples and causing her chest to rise and fall rapidly, almost like a silent plea for more. Finally she obliged, taking with her lips and another with her hand, massaging slowly. A moan escaped from the blonde and Lexa smiled against her, knowing she was driving Clarke insane.

Lexa knew that if she didn’t move further down soon, Clarke would take over, eager to get what she wanted. So she continued trailing kisses and nibbles over Clarke’s stomach, closer to where she needed her most. Just as she reached the waistband of her shorts, Lexa darted back up to recapture Clarke’s lips, earning a whine from her. She felt Clarke’s legs tense, and knew what she was going to do a second before she did it. Lexa felt herself being flipped over, Clarke now on top. However Lexa was rather enjoying herself, and with a glint in her eye, flipped them back so she returned to the top.

‘I am the commander,’ she said with a growl, eyes dark, and Clarke found her wrists pinned up above her once again.

‘Command me.’

Lexa grinned finally completely stripped the blonde, having had enough of the fabric between them. Her teeth trailing along her hipbone, but to Clarke’s disappointment didn’t touch her centre. Lexa returned to Clarke’s neck, causing another moan to escape her lips. She desperately wanted that craving, that heat to be satisfied, but Lexa’s tongue was nowhere near where she wanted it to be. As soon as this hazy thought had crossed Clarke’s mind, she felt two slender fingers gather the wetness that had gathered and bring it up to circle her sensitive clit. Immediately Clarke’s hips bucked, a spike of pleasure racing through her entire body at the feather light touch from Lexa. She kept slowly circling, occasionally slipping down to spread more of Clarke’s wetness.

‘More,’ Clarke gasped, moving her hips desperately. She gasped as she felt a finger enter her, gaining more and more speed, thumb occasionally flicking her clit. Lexa drove her to her climax, feeling her walls clench and wetness soak between her fingers as Clarke let a loud moan escape. They lay on Clarke’s bed panting, a thin layer of sweat covering both of their bodies.

‘My turn,’ Clarke said, and Lexa knew she was done for.

-

Lexa woke that morning to the welcoming scent of flowers and sunlight streaming through the window. Clarke’s bare form lay beside her, one arm draped over Lexa’s hips and breathing deeply.

She was reminded of the first time she woke up in this apartment, a little less than a year ago. She had fallen asleep on the couch, watching a movie.

Lexa looked over at the clock that hung on the wall, but her eyes caught sight of something she hadn’t seen before. It was a painting of the stairs leading up to Lexa’s library at The Dropship, featuring a girl with flying brunette hair who had fallen down them, a tray and coffee cup smashed on the floor.

‘Son of a bitch,’ Lexa whispered, knowing that this particular scene hadn’t come from Clarke’s imagination, but rather an event that occurred on her first day working at The Dropship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that !!   
> just a warning that the next chapter only is a short little three years later thing.   
> comments and kudos make me v v happy so thank you to everyone who drops me one !!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello dudes !!  
> thank you to everyone who has read this far, i love you all.  
> this chapter is just a little 3 years later thing, its not even 1k words oops.   
> but i hope you enjoyed this little story of mine !!   
> thank you to my wonderful girlfriend for all the help you've given me to write this bc without you i defs wouldn't have finished it  
> please go and check out her fics bc they are really amazing her user is ur_the_puppy  
> thank you !!!

THREE YEARS LATER

 

‘Good morning, babe,’ Clarke’s sleepy voice came from the jumble of blankets and pillows.

‘Morning, cutie,’ Lexa replied from the kitchen.

It had been almost four years since Clarke and Lexa first met at The Dropship, the coffee shop that had brought them together. Anya and Octavia were now running the shop with a few other people the others had only met briefly. According to Octavia, they were nice enough, but they could never replace the original crew. Clarke was often still in the coffee shop, still using her art studio around the back that the other girls had created as a birthday present. As a result, Lexa often visited as well. Octavia and Anya always gave the two of them free food whenever they dropped in. Raven was now a mechanic, owning her own garage a few blocks over. The colourful wall they had made all those years ago in Clarke’s art studio was still there, vibrant as ever.

Clarke had finally told the others about her past in that room, and explained why she never talked about the years before she came to work for them in The Dropship. They had all been understanding, and let the past stay in the past.

Clarke and her mother got along much better, both having put the past behind them and finding out each other’s versions of putting in effort. Clarke often visited Abby for Christmas and New Years, bringing Lexa along with her.

Ever since spending her first Christmas with Clarke, she had loved them ever since

One afternoon two years ago a man had come into The Dropship and told Clarke he would be interested in opening an art gallery with her, as business partners. Soon after, Clarke had to quit working at the coffee shop she had so many happy memories at to focus on the gallery, which had now become her pride and joy.

Lexa had also stopped working there when she finished her studies and became a lawyer, working at a law firm nearby.

Clarke and Lexa still exchanged their books, but they were finding it harder and harder to find time to read, much to their disappointment.

The Coalition hardly met up anymore, each being busy with their own lives. They still loved their music, and each of the girls had their own copy of the music they had recorded together.   

Chaz was still a loveable playful dog, although he was growing older. He wasn’t as excitable as he used to be, but was definitely full of energy when other dogs were around. Lexa often took him on walks to the very same park she and Clarke and walked together to the first time, all those years back.

‘What time are you needed at the gallery today?’ Lexa asked as she began to put the pancakes she had made on the table for them.

‘Around eleven,’ Clarke replied, now sitting on the edge of the bed with her cute messy bed hair. ‘I might go to the shop though, I have a painting that should’ve dried overnight in the studio.’

‘Can I come? I haven’t seen Anya and Octavia in far too long.’ Lexa commented.

‘Of course, we’ll go after breakfast.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’

-

Lexa rolled her eyes when she saw the painting Clarke had done, sitting on an easel in the middle of her studio.

‘I swear, are you trying to document our entire relationship in your paintings?’ Lexa may have sounded exasperated, but Clarke knew she loved it. The painting showed the two of them having that flour fight all those years ago, when Lexa had been making cookies with her. 

‘Why, is that a bad thing?’ Clarke asked.

‘No, not at all.’ Lexa said mildly. ‘Still painting about us from three years ago. I never took you for such a sap.’ She teased.

‘What can I say,’ Clarke replied. ‘I guess you just bring it out of me.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this is so short i was going to add a few actual scenes but im a lazy shit so it never got done oops  
> but thank you so much for reading !!   
> i hope everyone is having a good day/night !!   
> xx


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